Left With YOU
by Mrs Prongs Mrs Padfoot
Summary: CHAPTER SIXTEEN UP - COMPLETE Sequel to Stuck With YOU - A school-wide scavenger hunt. So why is Lily participating in this VOLUNTARY scavenger hunt? BLACKmail. And how did she get left with James AGAIN? Well...
1. Chapter One

Left With YOU

Chapter 1

By Mrs. Padfoot

Author's Note:  Well, wasn't this quick?  Am quite proud of myself.  I ALMOST stopped for the night at the scene change but Mrs. Prongs didn't let me (she is responsible for the first two lines of that section.  So yes.)

...so welcome to Left With YOU the official sequel to Stuck With YOU, with distinct similarities, and all the SWY originals.

Yeah.

Have fun.

**

            "I'm bored," Sirius Black informed Lily Evans.

            All too knowledgeable about what Sirius Black's boredom streaks led to, Lily ducked further into the couch, trying to hide behind her potions book.

            "Liiiiily," he whined.

            Lily wondered if she could conjure an invisibility spell without her wand.  Sure, she had never done wandless magic before now, but she had a feeling that at the moment, she was desperate enough to pull it off.

            "Lilikins," said Sirius in his most pitiful, childish voice.

            "Go AWAY Sirius," she told him.

            "I didn't do anything!" he said.

            "No, not yet – but I have had too much experience with your little boredom relievers not to be suspicious of your motives," said Lily without looking up from her Charms book.

            "But Lily – remember Hide and Go Seek? and Red Rover? and Dodgeball? and Sardines?  Those were fun!"

            "I managed to avoid most of those, thank goodness – and Sardines was NOT fun in the least!"

            Which, of course, it wasn't.

            Really.

            "Lily – "

            "NO!  NO!  And for the last time, NO!" she had thrown her book on the couch, stood up, and was now glaring at him with all the force she possessed.

            Which, apparently, was not enough force to back down a determined Sirius.

            "I WILL NOT PARTICIPATE IN ONE MORE STUPID LITTLE SIRIUS GAME!" screamed Lily.

            "But it's not a stupid little SIRIUS game," said Sirius, "it's Dumbledore's game."

            "What?" asked Lily.

            "Weren't you at breakfast this morning?" asked Sirius, confused.

            "No," said Lily.

            "Dumbledore announced his GREATEST PLAN EVER this morning at breakfast!"

            "Which is?" said Lily, raising an elegant eyebrow with great skepticism.  

            "It's called a scavenger hunt," said Sirius.

            "A scavenger hunt," repeated Lily.

            "I can explain it if you want," said Sirius, grinning hugely.

            "That's okay, I know what a scavenger hunt is," said Lily.

            "You do?" asked Sirius.

            "Yes," said Lily.

            "Well, anyway, Dumbledore's organizing a school-wide scavenger hunt," said Sirius happily.

            "Okay," said Lily, looking at Sirius blankly.

            "You have to do it in pairs, and it's voluntary – "

            "It's voluntary?"

            "Yeah, so – "

            "So I don't have to do it?" asked Lily.

            "Well, technically, no, but – "

            "Oh good," said Lily, "you had me worried for a minute there!"

            She turned around and walked away.

Sirius blinked.

            "Wait – no – LILY!"

            "What?" she asked, turning around.

            "You have to be my partner!"

            "Why?"

            "Because I don't have one!"

            "So?"

            "So I need one!"

            "Good for you," said Lily, "find someone else."

            And she promptly turned back around and headed for the girl's staircases.

            "But Lily," said Sirius, "I want you to be my partner!"

            "Too bad," she said, "I've had enough experience with you."

            "I wouldn't say that if I were you," said Sirius, grinning.

            "And why not?"

            "Because," said Sirius, "a month ago, I woke up because I was thirsty – "

            "Sirius – " said Lily "I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR THIRST CYCLES!"

            "Thirst cycles?  That's a new one," said Sirius.

            "I DON'T CARE!  LEAVE ME ALONE AND TELL SOMEONE ELSE ABOUT YOUR STUPID SLEEP HABITS!"

            "But Lily, you really wanna hear about this one night," said Sirius.

            "No, Sirius, I really don't," she said.

            "No, you do – see, that night, there were people sleeping on the couch – and I saw them, and suddenly I wasn't thirsty any more, so I went back to bed."

            "Good for you, Sirius," said Lily, clearly annoyed.

            "But Lily – this was the night after the infamous Sardines game," said Sirius.

            "And why would I care?"

            "Because maybe you – saw – who was sleeping on the couch that night too?"

            Realization hit Lily like a runaway broomstick.

            But goddammit, Sirius wasn't supposed to know about her sleeping on the couch with James that night!  With her head on his shoulder, for heaven's sake!  No one was supposed to know about that!  It was a closely guarded secret!

            "Are you trying to blackmail me, Sirius?" she asked quietly.

            "Course not, Lilykins," said Sirius sweetly, "just trying to get a nice, intelligent partner for the game of the century."

            "I hate you."

%%%%

            Why did it always seem that Lily got dragged into these stupid little things? Oh, right. Sirius. Sirius Black. The blackmailing bastard.

            Every time. EVERY TIME.

            Looking around the hall, Lily noticed James (for the first time, mind you – don't get any ideas) was partnering with BOTH of those Ravenclaw girls.

            Including Stephanie Glenn.

            Who was quite obviously flirting with him.

            And James was quite obviously enjoying it.

            And Lily was quite obviously NOT jealous.

            ...she didn't like James in that way.  Really.

            She just thought they should get a room.

            Honestly.

            "Dammit," groaned Sirius, "why do I always get stuck with the wrong partners?"

            "Excuse me," said Lily, "but you BLACKMAILED me into this!"

            "Yes, but – " Sirius whined.

            Inspiration struck Lily.

            "You want to be with – what's her face – Alexandra, don't you?"

            "Wow, that was an amazing deduction, Sherlock," said Sirius sarcastically.

            "No – why don't we switch her into our group and me out – that way I won't have to be with you any more!"

            "Gee, thanks," said Sirius.

            "No really, I think it could work!"

            "I – " Sirius began.

            But Lily was already dragging him towards the group of three.

            "Hello," said James happily upon seeing the two approaching him.

            "Hi," said Lily, "Sirius and just aren't getting along, so we were wondering if one of you would be willing to switch places with me to be with Sirius."

            "Preferably Alexandra," said Sirius dreamily.

            Lily and James tried to hide their disgusted expressions.

            "No," said Stephanie, "I'm staying with Alex."

            "I... fine," said Lily, "Sirius, you switch into THEIR group, and James can be in ours."

            "But – " began Stephanie, but Alex gave her a look and she gave in.

            "The things I do for you and your stupid little crush," said Stephanie under her breath.

            "It goes both ways, Steph," said Alex.

            "ARE WE SWITCHING OR NOT?" asked Sirius.

            "Yes," said Lily, "we are switching.  Right James?"

            "Right Lily," said James, who was looking like exams had been canceled.  Which, of course, they hadn't been, but that's beside the point.

            "OKAY," said Lily, grabbing James by the arm and dragging him across the hall away from Stephanie.  Not that she had anything AGAINST Stephanie being near James.  She just – 

            Oh, nevermind.


	2. Chapter Two

Left With YOU  
  
Chapter Two  
  
By Mrs. Prongs  
  
Author's Note: I have to say, this chapter was enjoyable to write. It's nice to get back to the roots of our author-ness. That isn't a word, is it? It is now.  
  
Hope you enjoy.  
  
--------  
  


James grinned. "So we're together again."  
  


"I suppose we are," Lily said, trying to achieve a sound of detest but failing miserably.  
  


This time James smiled even wider and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "This is going to be fun. Just like last time," he said, giving her a friendly squeeze.  
  


Horror struck Lily for the second time that day. Sardines wasn't FUN. She couldn't remember a part that was even remotely enjoyable. Not a damn one.   
  


A loud, "Hey Lily!," distured her thoughts.   
  


It was James.  
  


As usual.  
  


Not that she minded or anything.  
  


Wait, no, she totally minded.  
  


The loud ass bastard.  
  


"They're handing out the lists."  
  


At that moment Sirius walked up and handed them a sheet of parchment. "I got to copy the lists for everyone yesterday in detention!," he exclaimed, with a twisted grin on his face that only he could achieve.  
  


"Oh?," Lily asked. "Let's see here." She began to look over the list. "A leaf from the Forbidden Forest?," she stated, looking at Sirius like he was a moron. "How in the world would you know if it was from the Forest or not?"

"Oh, you'll know," Sirius answered.  
  


James agreed. "You'll see the look of fright in their eyes."  
  


"Hey, remember the time we told Peter that if he spent the night in the Forest, he'd grow a foot taller?"

James snorted. "Yea, and the next morning he swore he'd never go outside again." At this they both broke out into a fit of laughter.  
  


Lily rolled her eyes.  
  


The Great Hall was suddenly quiet. Lily looked up and saw that Dumbledore was about to speak.  
  


"Good afternoon, everyone, and welcome to Hogwarts' first scavenger hunt."  
  


Everyone clapped.  
  


"I trust you've got your lists. Now, you have exactly 10 hours to gather your items and meet in here at 11:00PM. Now go! Oh, and remember, ten galleons to the winners!"  
  


At that, James snatched Lily's arm and pulled her out of the Hall.  
  


"This is horribly familiar," Lily groaned.  
  


"What is, Lily dear?"

"THIS!," she said, waving her captive arm in his face.  
  


"I don't know what you're talking about. Anyway," he began. "First item on the list-"  
  
------------  
  


"Sirius, you're so amazing," Alexandra swooned, hanging off Sirius's every word. Stephanie scoffed.

"I know," he replied, smiling.  
  


"ANYWAYS," Stephanie interjected, "Why don't we actually, you know, maybe, I was just thinking, HUNT FOR THE STUFF ON THE LIST."  
  


Alex glared. "You know, you don't have to be so bitter."

"Well, I didn't have to let Sirius in the group. I mean, what good will he do?"

"HEY!," Sirius exclaimed, "I'm good for stuff."  
  


"Sure."  
  
------------   
  


"A detention slip," James stated. "This will be simple. I've got tons of them upstairs."  
  


"I'm sure you do."  
  


"I DO!"

"I never said you didn't! I know you do."  
  


"Fine."

"FINE."  
  


James put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a pink piece of parchment. "There," he said, shoving it into Lily's hands.

Lily looked at it. "James, this detention isn't supposed to be served until 8 this evening."  
  


"I know. I just won't go," he said, waving is hand dismissively.  
  


"Right," she said. "Next item?"  
  


"A strand of red hair."  
  


"WHAT?," Lily screamed.  
  


James plucked out a strand of hair.  
  


"OW! That hurt," she said, rubbing the place of victimization.

"Sorry," James said, then a grin crossed his face. "Hey, Lily."  
  


"Yes?"

"You DO know how many people in the school have red hair?"

Lily gasped. "Four," she replied meekly.  
  


James frowned. "Don't worry. I'll protect you." He swallowed her into a giant hug, which was easy considering he was at least a foot taller than she. 

"Geroff!," Lily said, struggling to free herself from James's grasp.

"But Lily," he whined, "your hair smells like apples."

"SO?"

"I like apples."  
  
------------  
  
TBC.


	3. Chapter Three

Left With YOU

Chapter Three

By Mrs. Padfoot

Author's Note:  I meant to have the red hair issue in here, I really did.  I had it all planned – but – no.  Just to clear this up, a scavenger hunt is a game in which you receive a list of random objects and you (or your group) have to find them.  And no, the story won't have a full published list, but you'll know everything on the list, because Lily and James ARE reading it out loud.

And sorry for the AlexStephness.  I know there's a lot :)

%%%%%

            "So what's next?" Alexandra asked Sirius, hanging onto his arm.

            Stephanie rolled her eyes and wished for the millionth time that Sirius and James hadn't switched places.  Then SHE could be the one hanging on to a guy's arm and Alex could be the one disgusted and annoyed by one too many public displays of affection.

            "Mmm – does it matter?" asked Sirius, grinning like an idiot.

            "YES," said Stephanie loudly.

            Both Alex and Sirius gave her disgruntled looks, so Stephanie swiped the list from Sirius's hands.

            "I think," said Stephanie, "that this list is too long for us to do alone.  Maybe we should split up."

            "REALLY?" said Alex and Sirius.

            "Yeah," said Steph, "Alex, you can come with me – "

            "WHAT?"

            "I said Alex could come with me and Sirius – "

            "NO!" said Sirius.  "I don't wanna be alone!"

            "Fine," said Stephanie, "I'll go with you and Alex – "

            "But STEPHANIEEEEEEEE," whined Sirius.

            Annoyed, Stephanie grabbed Alex by the elbow and dragged her the other way out of the hall.

            "Sorry, Sirius," said Stephanie.  "Missed your chance.  Look for a strand of red hair, will you?"

            "FINE," said Sirius, stalking off.

%%%

            "Do you hear that, James?"

            "Hear what?"

            "I think someone's following us."

            "Don't be silly, why would anyone want to follow us?"

            "Well, maybe they're LOOKING for us," said Lily.

            "Why?"

            "Because everybody's – " Lily began.

            " – not looking for us.  We're not playing Sardines anymore, you know."

            "Right," said Lily.

            But she still thought someone was following them.

            "James?"

            "Yeah?"

            "What are we looking for?"

            "_An article of clothing owned by Professor Teasdale_," he read off the list.

            "A WHAT?"

            "Professor Teasdale's clothes," said James.

            "Wha – James?"

            "What?"

            "Why the hell would DUMBLEDORE, who was the one who wrote this list, let me remind you, want us to risk life and limb stealing something from Professor TEASDALE, the arch-nemesis of three-quarters of this school?"

            That was actually a good point.

            "Uh," said James.  "Well.  Uh.  Dumbledore can have his – uh – you know – insane – er – moments."

            "Right," said Lily uncertainly.

%%%%%

            "Steph!  Why'd you do that?" asked Alexandra as soon as Sirius was out of earshot.

            "BECAUSE you two were acting like lovesick animals and it was absolutely DISGUSTING," said Stephanie.

            Alex pouted.

            "ANYWAY," said Stephanie, "we now have to get an article of clothing from Professor Flitwick."

            "Oh, _honestly_, he'll practically GIVE his clothes to us."

            "No, Alex, he'll practically GIVE his clothes to YOU."

            "I don't know what you're talking about."

            "Suuuure you don't," said Stephanie, followed by a cough that sounded very close to _teacher's pet_.

            "I AM NOT!" said Alex.

            "Not what?" said Stephanie innocently.

%%%%%

            "Okay – here's the plan," said James, peeking around the corner of the corridor.  "I distract Professor Teasdale with the firecrackers, and YOU go in and take the hat."

            "Right," said Lily nervously.

            "What?" said James.

            "I just don't – know how – to – steal ... stuff."

            "It's easy," said James dismissively.

            Lily made a squeaking noise.

            "Really," said James.

            "I – eyuuuh," said Lily.

            "Okay," said James, "you just stay here and get ready to grab his hat."

            "His hat?" said Lily, "I thought we were getting his pants."

            "I changed my mind.  You're not allowed to touch Professor Teasdale's pants."

            "Why?  What's wrong with Professor Teasdale's pants?"

            "Oh, nothing.  You're just not allowed to touch anyone's pants except mine," said James.

            "Excuse me?"

            "I didn't say anything."

            Lily rolled her eyes.

%%%%%

            Alexandra knocked tentatively on Professor Flitwick's door.

            "Oh, for Lord's sake, Alex," said Stephanie, pushing her friend aside and knocking loudly on the door.

            The door flew open to reveal tiny Professor Flitwick, standing there looking up at them.

            Professor Flitwick looked at Stephanie, who looked at Alex, who cleared her throat.

            "Er – Professor Flitwick?" said Alex.

            "Yes?"

            "We're participating in the scavenger hunt – you know, and it says an article of clothing from Professor Flitwick – so, we were wondering if – we could – er, borrow a – pair of socks – or something?"

            "Of course," said Professor Flitwick, smiling brightly, "just a moment, please."

            Within a few seconds, he was back, bearing a pair of magenta socks, which he handed to Alexandra.

            "Thank you," she said politely.

            "Yeah, thanks," said Steph, "now COME ON, Alex."

%%%%%

            Professor Teasdale, if nothing else, had impeccable timing.

            As soon as the first firework went off, he flung his door open and charged down the hallway, shouting, "POTTER!  BLACK!  PETTIGREW!  WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING **THIS **TIME?"

            It was almost as though he had been standing by the door WAITING for James (or Sirius) to do something.

            Which Lily found rather creepy.

            But not nearly as creepy as the thought of going INTO his living quarters and stealing his pants – er, hat.

            She didn't want to get James angry.

            Er, right.

            Anyway.

            Aware of the short time she had, Lily dashed into the open door (_honestly_, how stupid could one teacher get?) and, ignoring the really gross stench (the scent of rotting frog brains and Professor Teasdale were barely bearable ALONE), grabbed the nearest hat and hightailed it out of the room.

            Within seconds, James joined her.

            Lily didn't even bother to ask how he had escaped Professor Teasdale's wrath.

            She wasn't sure she wanted to know.

            "Dja get it?" asked James.

            Lily held up the wizard's hat.

            James wrinkled his nose.

            "Stench of Professor Teasdale," he groaned.

            "Eau du Potions Ingredients."

            "And sweat."

            "And hair," said Lily.

            "Hair doesn't have a smell," said James.

            "Yes, it does," said Lily.

            "No, it doesn't," said James.

            "You were just telling me how my hair smelled like apples!"

            "That's different!"

            "How?"

            "It just is!"

            "I – you know what?  Nevermind.  What's next on the list?" asked Lily.

            "Uh – a _Filibuster Firework_."

            "Wow," said Lily, "an easy one."

            "Not really," said James.

            "What?" asked Lily.

            "I just used my last Filibuster."

            "I hate you."


	4. Chapter Four

Left With YOU

Chapter 4

By Mrs Prongs

A/N: Yes, back from a...er...minor hiatus. Sorry if this chapter is not acceptable enough to redeem me from non-updatedness, but, alas, I tried. And I say that in the utmost exasperated tone. Why? Because I'm lame. The End.

-------

"Don't be so negative, Lily."

Lily glared at James.

"WHAT?"

"You just have to screw EVERYTHING up," she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air for a dramatic effect.

"I do not. You just don't know what pure genius is. And this is beginning to resemble the Sardines experience to the tee."

She sighed. "Just...go. JUST LEAVE," Lily said, pointing towards the wall.

James looked at her as if she was a lunatic... which she very well was at this moment for no reason...at all. 

"AND DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT. You know what? I'm going to go find the damn item myself," she said, stalking off leaving James standing there, simply stunned. 

"Well, fine. Just go and be a bitch," he said to no one but himself. He started the opposite way down the hall.

--------

"A frog went a courtin' and he did ride MMHMM, MMHMM," Sirius sang as he walked down the hall.

"Sirius?," asked a familiar voice from the distance.

"HEY JAMESEY!"

James cringed. He always hated that nickname. Especially when someone was screaming it into his ear from two feet away.

"What in the hell are you singing," James asked, still rubbing his left ear.

"Uh...some song I learned from this muggle born. Where's Lily?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh," Sirius said sorrowfully. "Well, you know, things happen."

James chuckled. "Yeah, so what are you doing?"

Padfoot's face brightened once more. "I'm looking for a strand of red hair."

"Did they send you away or something?"

"Stephanie did. I don't really think she likes me too much," he answered contemplatively.

"Well, you know," James began to say, but Sirius glared at him.

"WOULD PEOPLE STOP GLARING AT ME?"

"Nope. You're just too glare-able."

"Glare-able?"

"Glare-able," Sirius said, nodding affirmatively.

---------

"Ally?," Steph asked as they were passing the same door for the millionth and one time.

"Yes?," Alex answered as if she had been pulled from a very deep thought.

"Where in the hell are we going?"

"I...don't know," she said at last.

"Hmm...well, I don't know. Let's check the list for the next item," Stephanie remarked sarcastically.

"Good idea," Alex said, and pulled the neatly creased piece of parchment from her pocket.

Steph looked over her shoulder. "A leaf," she said, not reading thoroughly. "Let's go." Steph grabbed Alex's arm and pulled her towards the staircase.

"But...Steph...Gah, forget it," Alexandra said, defeated and followed Stephanie towards the grounds.

A/N: Beautiful, was it not? Yeah.


	5. Chapter Five

Left With YOU

Chapter 5

By Mrs. Padfoot

Author's Note:  You know, we shouldn't really blame Mrs. Prongs for her short chapters.  I mean, I guess you could say that we inspire each other.  I always update these stories WAAAY faster than any of my solo ones.  

(Of course, then it's her fault for not realizing this and not writing the chapter soon when inspiration was fresh in her mind.)

...okay, my bad.  Go ahead and blame her.  Yeah...

I almost made her an idiot in the AlexSteph section, but she didn't let me, and I ended up making myself look like an idiot.  Well, kind of, anyway.  But I do that kind of stuff a lot anyway... and you'll see what I mean.  And I'm rambling.  I was telling myself I didn't have anything to WRITE in an author's note and LOOK AT ME.  Okay, shutting up now...

%%%

            "Great," muttered Lily, slumping against the wall, "just great.  Ditching James would've been a much better idea if HE HADN'T HAD THE LIST."

            A bewildered first year gave Lily a weird look as he passed.

            "Scaring first years, Lilikins?" asked Sirius as he passed.

            "Go away," said Lily.

            "No," said Sirius.

            "I'm serious, Sirius," said Lily.  "GO AWAY."

            "And I said no," said Sirius.

            "Why won't you go away, goddammit?" asked Lily.

            "Temper, temper, Lilikins," said Sirius.

            Lily rolled her eyes and stalked off.

            Sirius followed her.

            "Sirius.  Go find your girlfriend and LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE?"

            "Eesh, aren't we touchy tonight?"

            "YES.  GO AWAY."

            "But see, Lily," said Sirius.  "I'm on a mission."

            "Yes, so am I," said Lily.  Which she wasn't really, at the moment, but that wasn't what mattered.

            "You have red hair."

            Realization dawned.

            "No.  No, no and NO!"

            "But Liiiily," said Sirius, "I'd go away if I could have a piece of your hair!"

            "I don't care anymore!  You can't have it!"

            "Fine.  I'll stalk you."

            "Fine," said Lily, turning and walking in the other direction.

            Sirius followed her, reaching toward her head, and just as he was about to grab it – 

            "Don't DO that!" she yelped.  Still glaring at Sirius, she whipped out Professor Teasdale's hat.  After a moment's hesitation, she pulled it on her head, making sure every last strand of her hair was underneath it.

            "You smell," said Sirius.

            "I know," said Lily.

            It was okay, though.  She could wash her hair later.  It wasn't like she was trying to – impress anyone or anything.

            No, really, she wasn't.

            "You know, this isn't going to stop me, Lily," said Sirius.

            "Yes, it is," said Lily.

            "No, it's not," said Sirius.  "I'm still stalking you."

            "Yeah, but now you're going to stalk me at a five-foot radius," said Lily.

            She had a point there.

            "Liiiiily," said Sirius.  "You can't stand the smell either.  It's just ONE HAIR.  ONE HAIR.  ONE!"

            Lily ignored him.

            "Onnnnneeee haiiiiiiir, over the rainbow..." sang Sirius.

            "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SINGING?!?" screeched Lily, turning around and glaring at Sirius.

            "Oh look," said James, "Sirius is glare-able too."

            "Glare-able?" asked Lily.

            "Ask Sirius," said James.

            "Er... don't think I will," said Lily.

            James started to walk towards them, but stopped suddenly.

            "What's that smell?" he asked.

            "Lily's hat," said Sirius.  "She's trying to ward me off because I tried to steal one of her red hairs."

            James looked from Lily to Sirius to Lily.

            And then he burst out laughing.

            Lily glared at him.

            "Fine," he said.  "I'm not wanted.  I'll just leave."

            "No – wait – James," said Lily.

            He turned around.

            She mumbled something.

            "What was that?" he asked.

            "I said, I'm sorry, okay?"

            James blinked.

            "Did I hear you right?" he asked after a moment.  He turned to Sirius.  "Did Lily Evans just APOLOGIZE to me?"

            "I'm not sure," said Sirius.  "It was a bit... surreal."

            "You two are so frustrating," said Lily, walking over to James and grabbing his arm.  "C'mon, let's go."

            %%%

            "Okay, got the leaf," said Stephanie as Alex ran up to her.

            "Steph," sighed Alex, "it says leaf from the FORBIDDEN FOREST.  That's just off a random tree!"

            "There are trees like these in the forbidden forest," countered Steph, not missing a beat.

            "Yes, but..."

            "Nobody will care, anyway."

            "Yes, but I will," muttered Alex.

            "Well, it's not my fault everything has to be perfect!  Would you just loosen up a little?  For once?"

            "Fine," sighed Alex.  "One leaf from the forbidden forest – check.  Sort of."

            "Oh, god," said Steph.

            %%%

            "Eyuuuh, Lily," said James, wrinkling his nose.  "Would you PLEASE take off that hat?"

            "It won't help," said Lily.

            "Anything's an improvement," said James, "trust me."

            "Whatever you say, James, daaaaarling," said Lily.

            "You know, I feel like we've switched places," said James, "suddenly YOU'RE apologizing to me and calling ME darling."

            "Yeah," said Lily, taking off the hat, "but you meant it."

            "Are you saying you don't m – yeeuh, Lily, is that your hair or the hat?"

            "The dreadful combination of both."

            "But – what happened to the APPLES?" asked James.

            "They were smothered," said Lily.

            "That's horrible," said James, "why did you smother the apples?"

            "Because of your annoying best friend," said Lily.

            "Ah," said James.

            "Anyway, how are we going to get a Filibuster?" asked Lily.

            "Well, I don't have one, and I don't think Sirius or Remus does and Peter NEVER has them... how about Zonko's?"

            "James, it's not a Hogsmeade – OH."

            "You're starting to catch on," said James, "you'll be a first-rate Marauder in no time."

            "Oh, wonderful," said Lily, "my lifelong ambition."

            "Yeah, it's like that with a lot of people," said James distractedly, pulling out his wand and hitting the statue, revealing the dark passageway ahead.

            "Great," muttered Lily.  "Lumos."

            And as they marched forward, Lily's hand slipped into James' despite the light of her wand.  Not that she would ever admit it, of course.  

James just smiled knowingly.


	6. Chapter Six

Left With YOU 

Chapter Six

By Mrs Prongs

A/N: I really enjoyed writing this chapter and I believe it is an acceptable length. irockthend.

----------

"James?," Lily whined.

"Hmm?," James asked, looking behind him, where Lily was dragging behind.

"I'm cold," she said, wrinkling her nose in frustration. Of course, you would have probably been frustrated, too, if you had been walking in a freezing, dusty, dark tunnel for the past 10 minutes. The only good part about it was James being right beside her - or in front of her, for that matter - though Lily wouldn't admit it aloud.

James stopped and pulled off his robes leaving him in a simple pair of khakis and a tee shirt.

"Here," he said, giving them to Lily. "These should keep you warm."

Lily smiled weakly. "Thanks," she said, slipping them on over her own robes.

Lily grabbed James's hand once more and they began down the tunnel.

-------------

"ALEX! STEPH!," Sirius screamed, as he ran down the hall trying to catch up with the duo.

Stephanie groaned. Alex smiled.

"Where's the hair?," Steph asked, stepping in front of a dazed Alex.

"Er... I don't think I got it."

"WHAT?," she screamed, angrily. "How hard is it to go up to a red head and ask nicely for a strand of their hair? One simple strand."

"It's very hard."

Alex stepped in. "Leave him alone. He tried," she said, latching on to his arm.

Sirius nodded defiantly. "She's right. I DID try."

"What. Ever," Stephanie said, and turned back around and started marching down the hallway.

--------------

"OHHHH, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. Oh, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES!"

James knew that voice. That godforsaken voice. But why in the hell was it in this tunnel? Why couldn't it be in some other tunnel? Did he have to ruin EVERYTHING? James swore that he would kill him later on in the dormitories.

"What in God's name is that screeching?," Lily asked, annoyed.

"The one person in the whole fucking world that-," James was cut off.

Padfoot's voice broke through the cool air like a rocket. "JAMESEY? LILYKINS? IS THAT YOU!?"

James cringed. "NO! It's not. Go back up to the castle!"

"Oh, okay," Sirius said, beginning to turn around. Alex stopped him and whispered something into his ear. "HEY, WAIT!"

Stephanie rolled her eyes for what seemed the 23,234 time that day.

The threesome began walked toward the duo. 

Lily started. "Sirius, er, James's girlfriend, Sirius's girlfriend-"

"SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!," James exclaimed.

"Shut up," Lily continued. "Why don't you guys just head up towards the castle."

Stephanie stepped up. "You do realise why we're here? To get a Filibuster Firework. And I swear to God no one is stopping me. Sirius can go. Alex can go for all I care, but I'm not losing because you want a little "alone time" with Potter."

She finished and continued past Potter and Evans.

"Steph! You can't go without me, I've got the list," Alex yelled, and started after her best friend.

Sirius looked sad for a half of a milisecond, then his lips screwed up into a grin. "Looks like it's you, me and Lily now, Jamesey-poo," he said, getting between the two and wrapping his arms around them into a group hug.

Lily moaned.

James was ready to kill.

Sirius was as happy as a bee.


	7. Chapter Seven

Left With YOU

Chapter 7

By Mrs. Padfoot

Author's note:  Steph slowed me down with a heated argument about whether James or Sirius was cooler.  **Honestly_._ ** Sirius is cooler than everyone.

Actually, since American Mione asked to meet our muses (okay, not EXACTLY, but I'm a writer so I get poetic liberty...wheeeee!), and well, technically, you all have.  Because as weird as this sounds, Mrs. Prongs is my muse and I'm her muse.

OH.  And everyone needs to go look at our livejournal.  Yes, our.  The link is in our author profile, so go now!  =D  It's not friends only, or anything, so everyone can see it.  (The question is, what will we use it for?)

And honestly, this took ages for me.  But my life is hectic right now.  Like, really.  I'm SORRY!

%%

"You DO know they'll catch up to us eventually, don't you?" sighed Alex, trying to keep up with her irritated friend. 

"Not if we go fast enough, they won't," mumbled Stephanie. 

"Steph," sighed Alex. 

"NO, Alex. The lines between our two groups have become very, very blurred, and as far as I'm concerned, they can stay that way. I don't want to be with ANY. OF. THOSE. GRYFFINDORS. ANYMORE." 

"This isn't about Sirius anymore, is it Steph?" asked Alexandra quietly. 

Steph didn't answer. 

"Steph?" 

"What, Alex?" 

"Are you jealous of Lily?" 

"Of course not," Stephanie said, stiffening. "Let's go, I can hear Sirius singing. We have to stay ahead of them." 

Alex sighed but set off after Stephanie. 

%% 

"Ohhhhh, ninety-six bottles of butterbeer on the wall, ninety-six bottles of butterbeeeeer, take one down, and – " 

"SHUT. UP," said Lily. 

" – pass it around," continued Sirius defiantly, "ninety-five bottles of butterbeer on the wall! Ohhhhhhh, ninety-five…" 

"This is all your fault," hissed Lily to James. 

"How is THIS my fault?" asked James. 

"It's the bloody laws of physics," said Lily. "Something goes wrong, blame it on James. The end." 

"I think I'm hurt," said James. 

"Yeah, well. Join the party. My ears and head have been aching for hours." 

"OH YEAH? MY EARS HURT TOO!" yelled James. 

"Really, Jamesey?" said Sirius. "Mine kinda do too." 

"Maybe you should stop singing for a minute," said James sarcastically. 

"I'm BORED." 

"I'm beginning to have NIGHTMARES about that phrase coming from you," said Lily. 

"Why the hell are you BORED, Sirius?" asked James. 

"Because. You guys are talking to each other like little lovebirds ("WHAT?" screeched Lily), and not talking to me. So what can I do except sing? Ohhh ninety-three bottles of butterbeer on the wall..." 

James and Lily sighed. 

"Okay, Sirius, lemme have a private discussion with you," said James. 

"Alright, Jamesey," said Sirius happily. 

"Padfoot," said James, "you want to be with Alexandra right now, don't you?" 

"Duh, Prongsie," said Sirius, rolling his eyes. 

"So we all have to walk faster. Because they're ahead. And Stephanie's probably RUNNING. And Alexandra's probably trying to keep up with her. So we have to go FAST. So then you can be with Alexandra, and I can be with Lily!" 

"Good thinking, Jamesie," said Sirius, grabbing James' arm. "Let's go!" 

"Oh, great," said Lily as the two of them ran off. "Just what I needed." 

%% 

"Steph," said Alex, biting her lip as they walked out of Honeydukes, "don't you feel a little weird? Being in Hogsmeade, I mean?" 

"Alex," groaned Steph. "No one we know is here. We are not going to get into trouble. So deal. The end." 

"Right," said Alex, closing her eyes and trying to imagine it all away. Unfortunately, this caused her to run directly into someone. 

"Oh, I'm – Jenny?" 

"Alex?" 

"What are you doing here?" they chorused. 

"Finding a filibuster," said Alex. 

"Running away from Sirius," said Steph. 

"WE came for a filibuster too," said Jenny, "how odd." 

"Who's we?" asked Steph. 

"Remus and I," said Jenny, waving her book around. "He's in Zonko's right now." 

"Ohhhhh," said Stephanie knowingly. 

"Oh, shut up," said Jenny. "You got put with James, so you shouldn't talk." 

"Actually," said Stephanie, "we got stuck with Sirius instead." 

"That must be horrible," said Jenny, glancing at Alex. "Have they been snogging all over the place?" 

"Excuse me," said Alexandra. 

"Not really," said Steph, "but it's not because they haven't tried. How's it going with Remus?" 

"Not so good," said Jenny, "I keep trying to talk to him, every time I sorta clam up and – god. You know what happens when I'm with a guy I like. I go from outspoken to completely silent." 

"From me to Alex," said Stephanie.  

 "I'm not THAT quiet," said Alex. 

Stephanie and Jenny snorted. 

"HEY. What is this, pick-on-Alex day?" 

"Right on, Ally," grinned Steph. 

Alex pouted. 

"So what have you got so far?" asked Steph. 

"Um, we've been going backwards. So we've got apple shampoo, a book on house-elves, a blood-flavored lollipop, a chocolate éclair, OH. And James' underpants." 

"WHAT?" screeched Alex and Steph. 

"Hey," said Remus, walking up to the trio. "You're talking." 

Jenny gave him a weak sort of grin. 

"She talks," said Steph. 

"All the time," added Alex quietly. 

Remus raised his eyebrows and glanced down at Jenny. 

"Hey, look! The gang's all here," said Sirius as he and James exited Honeydukes with Lily not too far behind. 

"Just a sec," said Steph, grabbing Jenny and Alex. "We need to talk. About... that item you just mentioned, Jenny." 

"What was that all about?" asked James, looking confused. 

"No clue," said Lily. 

Remus just grinned. 

"Moony," said Sirius. "Tell us what you know." 

"I heard the tail end of their conversation," said Remus. "But I'm sworn to secrecy."

"But Mooooony," whined Sirius.

            "Look, Sirius, they're just talking about something on list, like they said," said Remus, shrugging his shoulders and giving James an innocent grin, despite the fact that he was talking to Sirius.

            "Yeah.  Right."

            "Really," said Remus, "I mean, some of the items are more interesting than others.  But you should know that.  You did _copy the lists for everyone_, didn't you?"

            "Yeah, but..." said Sirius, "OH."

            "Wait... what?" said James.

            "Nooothing, Jamesey," said Sirius, giving his friend a big grin and turning back to Remus.

            "Remus...?" said James, glancing between the two of them.

            "Like I said, James, I'm sworn to secrecy," said Remus.  "Sorry, Prongs."

            James sighed and scanned down the list he and Lily shared, but didn't see anything worth this much fuss.

            "You know what, James?" said Lily vaguely, reading over his shoulder.

            "Yeah?" said James.

            "Your friends are idiots.  Every single one of them."

            "Yeah, I figured that out years ago," said James.

            "Why, Prongs," said Remus, feigning hurt, "Maybe I won't give you my extra filibuster.  I'm sure Sirius could use it more than you two."

            "Please," said Lily, "he'd blow up the school on accident."

            "No, he wouldn't," said Remus.

            "Not on accident, anyway," said Sirius, looking strangely pensive, as if considering the situation.

            "Do you REALLY want to put a filibuster in the hands of him?"

            "Well, if I don't give him one, he's going to buy one _anyway_, so I might as well," said Remus.

            "Fine.  James and I will go buy our own," grunted Lily, grabbing James by the arm and dragging him into Zonko's."

%%


	8. Chapter Eight

Left With YOU  
  
Chapter 8  
  
By Mrs. Prongs   
  
Author's Note: You know, there were a few things I would have liked to address in this note, but I totally and completely forgot. I blame it on all of the Green Day I listen to.  
  
--------------------  
  
After passing several shops, Lily stopped and turned towards her captive.  
  
"James? Do you have any money?," she asked, with furrowed eyebrows.   
  
"Er...," James checked his pockets.   
  
James turned around and headed towards the area they had just stalked away from. Well, more like the place Lily dragged him away from.  
  
"Where are you going?!," she called after him.  
  
James looked back towards Lily. "Where do you think?," he replied, waving her off.  
  
-------------------  
  
"Hey, hey, I guess it's all," Sirius stopped to count heads. "Five of us now."  
  
"Great." Stephanie said dully.  
  
"It is great, isn't it, Steph?," Alex said, sighing. She walked over to Sirius.  
  
"Oh, bloody fantastic."  
  
Remus spoke. "Well, Jenny and I could leave-"  
  
Stephanie's eyes widened. "NO. Don't leave. I don't want to be left with them. You don't know how terrible it is," she said, running over to the werewolf and grabbing his arm in protest.  
  
"-or not," Remus smiled politely.  
  
"Thank you. I really owe you one," she said sighing in relief. She noticed Jenny frowning. "Well, it wasn't as if you two were going to do anything, anyway!," she exclaimed.  
  
"PADFOOT!," a voice echoed through the air before Jenny could answer.  
  
The quintet turned to see James making his way down the cobblestone road.  
  
"WHAT, PRONGSIE?," Sirius said, agitated as he was in the middle of talking to his favourite Ravenclaw.  
  
"I need to borrow some money," James replied. Sirius glared. "Actually, Padfoot, old buddy, I need some of the money you owe me that I never expected to receive anyway." James slapped him on the back.  
  
"Too bad, Prongs. It's all up in the castle," he said, pointing to the school.  
  
"Well, then give me the firework!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
  
  
"Yes before I hex you to death!," James said angrily. The bastard owed him money, and wouldn't even give him a measly Filibuster.  
  
Sirius looked at Remus expectantly. "What do you want me to do?," Remus asked. "I'd give it to him. You know James."  
  
Padfoot's face fell. "Thanks a lot, Moony," he said grugingly, handing the firework to Prongs.  
  
"Thanks," James said and turned to walk away.  
  
Stephanie stepped in. "Where are you going?"  
  
"To find Lily. She's probably trying to catch up."  
  
"Well, you could stay with us," she said, "and Lily can, too," the girl added as an afterthought.  
  
James smiled. "That's a good idea. Then we can get twice the stuff on the list without the extra work. You know, split up into teams to get the items faster."  
  
"JAMES!"  
  
"Right here Lily!," he called.  
  
"What are you guys doing?," Lily asked, jogging up to the crowd. "And where's the money?," she asked, looking at James.  
  
James held up his hand in which the firework was held.   
  
Lily looked from James's hand to Sirius, who was looking quite defeated.  
  
"How did you get it?," she asked.  
  
  
  
"That's not important," James said, grinning.   
  
Alex gasped, walking over to her best friend. "What about James's underpants?", she whispered.  
  
"What about them?," Steph asked, quite loudly.   
  
Just as Alexandra expected, everyone turned towards them.  
  
"What about what?," James asked.  
  
Remus answered, realizing what the girls were discussing. Rather, what Alex was trying to discuss and what Stephanie wasn't following along with. "Nothing about nothing."  
  
James shook his head. "You guys are really starting to scare me."  
  
Author's Note: Mrs. Padfoot and I have decided instead of having our usual 10 chapter story, we're going to go up a bit higher this time. Not only are the installments shorter than usual, but there are just so many ideas in our head that can't be fit into 2 more chapters. 


	9. Chapter Nine

Left With YOU

Chapter Nine

By Mrs. Padfoot

Author's Note:  Meh.  I was forced to write this.  Sortof.

Oh, honestly, Alex, you were not. -Mrs. Prongs

Stop denying my victimhood.

&&

            "Sirius."

            "Sirius."

            "SIRIUS."

            "GODDAMNIT SIRIUS.  GET YOUR HAND OFF HER ARSE AND GET OVER HERE!  I NEED TO TALK TO YOU," yelled Remus.

            "EESH, Moony.  I'm COMING," said Sirius, disentangling himself from Alexandra and heading to where Remus was glaring at him full-force.

            "Sirius.  Stephanie invited Prongs and Lily along with us.  What are we going to do?" said Remus, glancing at Sirius and wringing his hands.

            "Go scavenger hunting with them?" said Sirius cluelessly.

            "We can't!  They're using our list.  The one Jenny and I were using.  You know the one with that _thing _'Dumbledore' added to the list?"

            "Are you insinuating that _I _put Jamesey's – er, things, on the list?" said Sirius innocently.

            "Yes."

            "I can't _believe_ you, Moony."

            "Good for you.  But anyway, that means James is going to discover that little item sooner or later.  And unfortunately for you, Jamesey is not stupid.  And he's going to connect _that _to you."

            "Oh.  You're right."

            "Of course I'm right, Sirius.  We have to get rid of them.  Just, _how_?"

            "Relax, Moony," said Sirius, draping an arm casually around his friend and motioning hugely out his arm as if he were giving Remus the talk.  "We're Marauders, remember?  We can do _any_thing."

            "Let's just hope we can Maraud a Marauder."

&&

            "Er, James?" said Lily, trying to hide her amusement.

            "Hmm?"

            "You hair... it's kindof... pink.  Did you notice?"

            James blinked.

            "Excuse me?"

            "I said your hair's pink."

            "What?"

            "Your hair.  It's pink."

            "Are you serious?"

            "YES.  Your hair is pink, James."

            "SIRIUS!" yelled James.

            "What, Jamesey?" said Sirius from where he and Alexandra were sitting.

            "I have a sudden urge to maim you."

&&

            "Okay, so it wasn't the most subtle thing we could have done.  In fact, it was bloody obvious after that trick we pulled on Snape.  But it _worked_, didn't it?  Are Jamesey and Lily hunting with us anymore?"

            "Sirius.  Next time, _I _am going to come up with it," said Remus, who was unsurprisingly very annoyed with his friend. 

            "_You _said you didn't have any ideas."

            "I meant I didn't have any good ideas.  But no matter how bad my ideas were they don't even begin to compare to your ideas.  Your good ideas make _my _bad ideas look like the work of Einstein."

            "Eeesh.  _Some_one woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

            "Yes, I seem to do that every morning.  I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that my bed is next to _yours_."

            "Moooony," whined Sirius, "what's wrong with you?"

            Remus didn't answer.

            "Fine," said Sirius, stepping forward to catch up with the group of Ravenclaw girls that were conversing in front of them.

            "Aleeeex," said Sirius, "Moony's in a bad mood!"

            "Just ignore him.  He's obviously had a bad day.  I'm sure you weren't the cause of it," said Alexandra.

            Stephanie snorted.

            "Can we _please _just abandon them?" groaned Jenny.

&&

            "I can't BELIEVE HIM.  How dare he turn my hair pink?  That's reserved for the scummiest of the scummiest!  Like... like... Snivellus!"

            "Prat," said Lily jokingly, "at least _you _knew the countercurse.  Snape didn't."

            "Yes, but it's different."

            "Different how?"

            "_Honestly_.  Because I'm me and Snivellus is... well, not me."

            "Well said," said Lily, rolling her eyes.  "Ohhkay, what's next?"

            "Mmm... hey, look.  Apple shampoo.  I know where we can get _that_."

            "Oh do you?  Where?" said Lily, arching an eyebrow.

            "Lily's bathroom!" said James triumphantly.

            "And what makes you think that I'm going to let you have my apple shampoo?"

            "Errr... you love me?"

            "Think again."

            "Because I love you?"

            "Not good enough."

            "Because if we don't, Sirius will win?"

            "What makes you say that?"

            "Didn't you smell?  Alexandra has apple shampoo too," James informed her.

            "Oh does she?"

"Mmhmm.  It doesn't smell as good as yours, though."

"Err... James?  It's the same shampoo.  It comes from the tap in the prefects bathroom," said Lily, grinning up at him.

"What, is the head's bathroom below you?"

"Mm, no, it's just always messier than the prefect's bathroom."

"What are you talking about?  It's clean!" said James indignantly.

"No, it's not.  But what can you expect?  I mean, _you _use it."

            "I resent that."

            "Mmhmm," said Lily.  "James?"

            "What?"

            "_Why _were you smelling Alexandra's hair?"

            "Why?  Do you care?"

            "Nooo, it's just that I just hate fighting, you know.  I wouldn't want to see you get beaten to a pulp by Sirius."

            "_Right_, Lily," said James, grinning.

            "I'm serious!"

            "I know," said James, still grinning.  "I smelled it this morning.  Before Sirius and I switched places.  Alex accidentally fell into me and I smelled her hair."

            "Accidentally?  ACCIDENTALLY?  Right, James.  How naïve are you?  _Honestly_.  Why that – "

            "Y'know, Lily?  I don't think you hate me anymore.  In fact, I'd even go so far as to say that you – "

            "OhlookJames," said Lily quickly, "we're at the prefect's bathroom!"

&&        

            "So Jenny," said Steph.

            "Yeah?" said Jenny, still staring at Remus, who was _still _avoiding talking to Sirius.  (Not that Sirius noticed or anything, but that's another story.  That no one needs to hear.)

            "When do _I _get to see James' underpants?"

            Jenny raised an eyebrow and turned to look at Stephanie.

            "WHAT?"

            "Oh, nothing," said Jenny.  "Are you sure you want to see them?  They're nothing much."

            "So?  I should, you know, check over every item.  Just to make sure it's acceptable.  You know."

            "Yeah," said Jenny.  "Well, go ahead.  Remus has them."

            "_Remus _has them?"

            "Yes," said Jenny.

            "Why does Remus have James's underpants?"

            "Because he's keeping our items," said Jenny.

            "But... Remus doesn't _understand_," said Steph.

            "Understand what?"

            "The importance of James's underpants!"

            "Uh, Steph?  I'm not sure anyone understands that.  Excepting you, of course."

            "Fine."

&&

            "Okaay.  Which knob's apple, Lily?"

            "Er," said Lily, glancing at the row of shampoo knobs.  "Well, it's a middle one."

            James blinked.

            "That eliminates _two_."

            "It's a start," said Lily, turning one of the knobs.

            "That's not apple," said James, sniffing it.  "That's what _Steph _uses.  _Coconut _shampoo."

            "STEPH uses?  How do you know what _Steph _uses?  You might as well go around wearing a sign on your back:  I smell girls' hair!"

            "Don't you think you're overreacting a bit, Lily?"

"NO!  You aren't supposed to smell all their hair!  GOD, James!  Did she accidentally fall into you too?"

            "Well... actually, yes, she did."

            "Except, it probably wasn't accidental, knowing _her_," said Lily.

            "Oh, that's not nice, Lily.  You don't need to _fight _over me," said James, smirking.

            "Who's fighting over you?"

            James bit back another grin but wisely didn't answer.

            "And _Steph_!  Since when do you call her Steph?  Her name is _Stephanie_.  You're not supposed to be on a nickname basis with _her_!"

            "Eeesh, Lily.  It's so obvious that you'rein – "

            "HeyIfoundtheappleknob," said Lily as quickly as she possibly could.

            "What about that?" said James, stifling a grin.


	10. Chapter Ten

Left With YOU  
  
Chapter 10  
  
By Mrs. Prongs  
  
Author's Note: I really like this chapter. It's the result of a spontaneous burst of creativity at 2 AM. Hope you enjoy. Oh, and it's long. Isn't that just AMAZING? =D  
  
And we're sorry for adding ourselves in the story so much, but we really do have a point to it, so hold tight. Oh, and there will never be any Steph!James, for all you Jamesey and Lilikins fans. We could never do that, even with how much that would be awesome through my eyes. I mean, James and I are perfect for eachother...Okay, on with the chapter.  
  
--------------  
  
"They're boxers," Steph said, inspecting the red and green striped underpants.  
  
"And they're quite holiday-ish, too," Alexandra added.  
  
"Boxers?," Jenny asked.  
  
"It's a muggle thing," Stephanie said dismissively.  
  
Jenny had a confused look on her face. "But you're a pureblood."  
  
"Yes, well."  
  
Alex thought for a moment. "Hey, so's James."  
  
"Do you have a point?," Steph asked, annoyed.  
  
"Well-," Alex began.  
  
Sirius cut in. "Of course she does! Alexandra is the most intelligent person I know!"  
  
Alex blushed. "Thank you, Sirius. But I was just beginning to say that, no, I don't."  
  
Stephanie chuckled and looked at Sirius. "Dontcha feel smart now?"  
  
"Actually-"  
  
Remus cut Padfoot off this time. "Could you hand me the underpants, now, please?," he asked Stephanie.  
  
"You know, it's not nice to keep cutting people's sentences off, guys," Stephanie said, ignoring Remus's question.  
  
Remus cleared his throat. "Stephanie-"  
  
"HEY! I've got a brilliant idea," Steph said, being the one to cut off someone this time.  
  
Sirius smiled. "WOW! I have a lot of those, too."  
  
"Yes, but do you want to know the difference?," the girl asked.  
  
"Sure."  
  
"My plans actually have meaning. And not to mention, they work."  
  
Sirius frowned and turned to Alex.  
  
Alex looked at Sirius, then at Steph, then back to Sirius. "Well...you know, they do. Most of the time..."  
  
"Everyone's against me," Sirius said huffily.  
  
---------------  
  
"So we just put it into a container," Lily said, turning the knob back into the off position.  
  
"So do we have a container?," James asked.  
  
Lily looked around.  
  
"Er...no. But we can find one. I mean, we could use, you know, a thing that holds things..."  
  
James looked at her as if she was insane. "Right. A thing that holds things."  
  
Lily stood and went over to the bathroom cabinet. Opening it, she pulled out a tarnished silver soap dispenser.  
  
"And this is a thing that holds things," she said triumphantly. She unscrewed the cap and filled the container with the apple scented shampoo.  
  
"James?" He didn't answer. "James?," she asked again, a bit louder to get his attention. "JAMES!"  
  
The Marauder jumped from his position from under a tap.  
  
"What in god's name were you doing?"  
  
"I was smelling the coconut shampoo," he stated, lifting up off of the ground.  
  
"WHY? Didn't you get a big enough wiff of it when Stephanie "accidentally" fell into you?," the redhead asked, truly bothered.  
  
"Someone's jealous."  
  
"Shut UP."  
  
---------------  
  
The five were making their way down the first floor corridor.   
  
"What happened to your plan?," Alex asked Steph.  
  
"I never had one."  
  
Remus stopped in the middle of his tracks. "Do you hear that?," he asked the group of people behind him.  
  
"Hear what?," Alex asked.  
  
"That noise."  
  
Sirius looked confused. "I don't hear a noise."  
  
"There's a noise, dammit!," Remus said.  
  
"THAT noise?," Stephanie asked, pulling her attention away from chatting with Jenny.  
  
"YES!," Remus said, thankful that someone else heard it.  
  
"I don't hear a noise," she said, smiling.  
  
Remus rolled his eyes.   
  
Off in the distance, the group heard two people talking. And it sounded an awful like James and Lily arguing.  
  
"I hear it!," Jenny said.  
  
Stephanie looked at her. "Obviously."  
  
"Gosh, Steph, you don't have to be so-." Alex wasn't able to finish her sentence.  
  
"HIDE!," Remus said.  
  
"Where?," Sirius asked.  
  
There was a very familiar tapestry on the wall. "Behind here of course," he said, leading them through it.  
  
In the fuss, Stephanie dropped the underpants.  
  
And James and Lily were coming that way.  
  
"ALEX!," Steph hissed through the dark.  
  
"Ouch!," Alex exclaimed when someone's elbow nudged into her ribcage. "What?"  
  
"I dropped the boxers!"  
  
  
  
"Oh. My. God. Why in the hell did you do that?!," Alex asked, panicking.  
  
"It's not like I did it on purpose. It wasn't 'Oh, let's drop James' underpants in the middle of the corridor so he can stumble over them'," she retorted.  
  
Alex groaned.  
  
The group could hear James talking. "I'm sorry that I like smelling girls' hair Lily. Especially of girls I like, but -"  
  
"YOU LIKE ALEXANDRA AND STEPHANIE?!," Lily exclaimed, outraged at simply the thought of this idea.  
  
"Well, Alex is a bit uptight, but Steph is extremely nice and lovely, and not a typical Ravenclaw," James answered. "But not as lovely as you, Lily, my dear."  
  
"Ugh."  
  
Stephanie smiled behind the tapestry.  
  
Remus' eyes widened while realisation dawned on him while he was standing there waiting for Lily and James to pass. "Stephanie?," he asked.  
  
"Hmm?," she answered, still thinking of how James said she was nice and lovely.  
  
"Where are the underpants?"  
  
"Oh, right," Stephanie said. "I...er...dropped them. They're in the middle of the floor."  
  
"WHAT?," Remus yelled.  
  
"Moony?," James called. "Is that you?"  
  
"Er...no!"  
  
"Come on, I'm not Sirius. Where are you?"  
  
"HEY! I THINK THAT'S AN INSULT!," Sirius exclaimed.  
  
"No, he's complimenting you on your great wit," Stephanie said, sarcastically.  
  
"Sirius? Steph?," James said, heading towards the tapestry, and slipping in. Lily slipped in behind him.  
  
"OOF! That's my shoulder!," Alex said, rubbing the injured part.  
  
"You're just getting beat up everywhere, aren't you, Alex?," Jenny said sympathically.  
  
"Hey, what is everyone doing back here?," James asked, quite clueless to the tragedy afoot.   
  
"Er," Steph said, dropping to the floor. "Be right back." She crawled out from under the large rug on the wall.   
  
"Just, you know, hanging out," Alex answered.  
  
Stephanie snatched James' boxers from the floor and tucked them in her robe pocket. "There," she said to herself, and went back under the rug.  
  
"Where did you go?," Lily asked.  
  
"Nowhere," Remus, Sirius, Alex, Jenny and Steph all said at the same time.  
  
"Right." 


	11. Chapter Eleven

Left With YOU

Chapter Eleven

By Mrs. Padfoot

Author's Note:  It's strangely surreal.  A chapter _eleven_?  By _Mrs. Prongs and Mrs. Padfoot_?  ...It's so... so... there are no words.

But we've been cranking out this chapters.  As this note is being penned, it's 1:53 PM on Sunday the 14th, about 24 hours after Chapter Eight was written.  I mean, wow.  (I can't believe I admitted that.  Now everyone will be after us with a fork for not _posting _faster.)

The funny thing is, even though Chapter 12 isn't written yet, since that was written, we cranked out a whole (long) one-shot.  Are we fast or _what_?

&&

            Somehow, (and as far as Remus Lupin was concerned, most of the blame laid with Sirius Black), Lily and James had once again joined the scavenging party.

            Sometimes he really wished James was less forgiving.  I mean, was it too much to ask to have him be just a _little _peeved about the pink hair incident?  (Besides the Sirius-maiming incident, of course.  Sirius hadn't been very maimed, as James had stopped and stalked off when he realised Alex wasn't moving.  He hadn't really wanted to hurt Alex, just Sirius.)

            But there was no changing facts, and much as Remus wished that James and Lily were still off... somewhere, Lily appeared to have distracted James a little _too_ much, as James was now back and grinning insanely every few seconds.  (And despite himself, he was a little curious as to _what _James was grinning about.  _Lily _didn't seem too happy.)

            And then, of course, there were the Ravenclaws.  He had never even met any of them before today (he hadn't even _heard _of them before today, unless you counted Sirius' "ooh, ooh!  Look at her, Moony!  She's hot, isn't she?", and James's somewhat consenting answer and commentary on her friend and her nice-smelling coconut shampoo, all of which he had ignored completely so it didn't count), and although overall they seemed to be nice enough, they were adding to his grand annoyance.  Stephanie seemed to have an obsession with James' boxers.  And there was something wrong with that.  Alexandra was _encouraging _Sirius and being _nice _to him (not to mention hanging off him), which any person with any common sense should know was just plain _stupid_.  Considering she was in Ravenclaw, he assumed she must have _some _amount of intelligence, so _why oh why_ was she with _Sirius_?  And then there was Jenny, who obviously hated him.  She wasn't subtle in the _least _about it.  She would chat with Stephanie and Alexandra, and even _Sirius_, for god's sake, but she had barely said a word to him ALL DAY.  Girls.

            And _Lily_.  She had the nerve to look as disgruntled and annoyed as him, which was wrong, because _no one _was as disgruntled and annoyed as him, so, logically, no one should _look _as disgruntled and annoyed as him.

            And Sirius.  Why that _prick.  _

            "Eeesh, why's _Moony_ still grumpy?"

            ...but then, he didn't really need to go into that.  That was self-explanatory.

            "Mm, it's probably James and Lily," said whispered Alexandra vaguely.  "He's probably worried that they'll discover the you-know-whats in you-know-who's pocket."

            "_Voldemort _has Jamesey's _you-know-whats _in his pocket?" said Sirius loudly.

            "Honestly, Alex," said Steph.  "I don't know how you put up with him."

            "_Voldemort _has my _whats _in his pocket?" asked James quizzically.

            "Er, your marbles," said Sirius.  "You lost them awhile ago, if I recall, Jamesey."

            Alexandra was the only one laughing.  And even her laugh was a little forced.

            "Honestly, Sirius," said James, rolling his eyes and looking bored, "you stopped being funny in about first year."

            "IwillnothitSirius," said Remus, mostly to himself.  

            "Hey," said Alex, "it accomplished the important thing, didn't it?"

            "You mean _that _accomplished something?" said Steph, looking incredulous.

            "Yes, it did," said Alex.  "James is no longer wondering what _you-know-who_ has in his pockets."

            "Yes, but would we _need _to 'accomplish' that if Sirius wasn't an idiot?"

            "Don't you think that's a little harsh, Steph?" said Alex.

"Actually, considering the circumstances, I think it was very diplomatic of me," said Stephanie.

            Alex rolled her eyes and whispered something to Sirius, who grinned.  Steph rolled her eyes and looked around for someone _else _to talk to.

            Ah.

            "So, James," said Stephanie, falling into step beside him, "did you and Evans get anything while you were gone?"

            "Yeah," said James brightly, holding up the soap dispenser, "we got some apple shampoo from the prefects bathroom!"

            "Oh," said Steph.  "That stuff.  You know, I'm not too fond of it.  Alex loves it, but I prefer the – "

            "Coconut shampoo," said James.  "Yeah, I know.  So do I."

            "Excuse me?" said Lily.

            "Now, Lililkins," said James putting an arm around her, which she let remain there, "let's not be too fussy.  There's enough me to go around."

            Except there wasn't, as far as Stephanie was concerned.

            "Don't flatter yourself," said Lily.  "What's next on the list?"

            "Underwear," said James loudly.  "Eeesh.  How un-creative can you get?  _Every_one has underwear.  We can just go to my room and get some of mine!"

            "Uhhhh, Steph?" said Jenny from ahead.  "I sorta kinda need to talk to you."

            Oh, great.  She really didn't want to hear this.

            "What about?"

            "About James's lost marbles," said Jenny after a moment of thought.

            Oh, great.

            "You can't have them," said Stephanie loudly.

            "I don't want them.  I just want to talk to you."

            "Fine," said Steph, marching forward to where Jenny was standing, "what about his lost marbles?"

            "We took the last marbles from his marble drawer," said Jenny.

            "You didn't!"

            "Do you ever get the feeling that everyone around you has gone completely and totally insane?" asked James.

            "Only when I'm with you," said Lily.

            "I resent that," said James.  "But, seriously.  I mean, _look_ at this.  Sirius is wrapped up in his girlfriend – "

            "That's not unusual," said Lily.

            " – she's wrapped up in him – "

            "Okay, well _that _is," said Lily, grinning.

            " – Remus is going on about death and destruction, which is not normal Moony behavior, and Stephanie and Jenny are talking about my marbles.  Which, although I apparently lost them about awhile ago, were apparently taken from my marble drawer.  And Lily, I don't have a marble drawer."

            "I figured you didn't," said Lily.  "You know, maybe rejoining your friends wasn't such a brilliant idea."

            "Yeah.  Maybe we should leave them again," said James.

            "Don't you _dare_," said Steph and Jenny as one, rushing over and grabbing James and Lily.

            "Uh, guys?" said Sirius.  "I thought _we _wanted them to go away."

            "Excuse me?" said James.

            "Ignore him, he's insane," said Stephanie.

            "Look, I can tell when I'm not wanted," said James.  "C'mon, Lily, we'll finish this without them."

            "Oh no you won't," said Jenny and Stephanie.

            "Um, guys?" said Alex.  "Are you okay?"

            "No.  Our lives will fall apart if James and Lily leave us," improvised Jenny.

            Everyone looked at her.

            "Ohhkay," said Remus, "you two can go with James and Lily.  We'll stay in our own group."

            "You can't split Steph and I up!" said Alexandra indignantly.

            "You can come, but you can't bring Sirius," said James and Stephanie at the same time.

            Lily glared at Stephanie.

            "Fine.  I still don't see why you _need _them all of a sudden," Alexandra said, rolling her eyes.

            "I think we could go much, y'know, faster," said Jenny, "if we split into two groups.  You guys can find the _underpants_ while we find, err, something else."

            "We were going to find the underpants," said James, "not them.  Sirius'll screw it up."

            "Underpants?" said Alex.  "I thought it wasn't on that ist-lay!"

            "Ist WHAT?" said James.

            "It's a muggle language," said Lily.  "And as a matter of fact, Alexandra, it _was _on our 'ist-lay'."

            Alex blinked.

            "What is so shocking about underpants?" asked James.

            "Well, there's nothing shocking about just plain underpants, but I would've thought – "

            "You would've thought we'd have reacted more strongly than you to underpants because we're Gryffindors?  I'm so bloody confused," said James.

            "OH," said Alex suddenly.  "So it wasn't – he didn't – they changed it?"

            "Yeah," said Steph.

            "So why do they need supervision?" asked Alex.

            "Because Jenny and Remus took our friend James's last marbles," said Steph.

            "SEE?  See what I mean about insanity??" said James.

            "I think I do," said Alex.  "I don't think she'll let you go without her.  D'you mind terribly if she and I come along with you and Lily?  We won't be a bother.  Jenny, you can stay with Sirius and Remus and keep them from killing each other."

            "Oh, lovely.  Do I _have _to stay with Sirius?"

            "JENNY!"

            "Fine."

&&

            "I'm not insane," said Stephanie as they trudged behind James and Lily.

            "I know you aren't," said Alex, rolling her eyes.  "I just had to think of something!"

            "Hmph," said Steph.  "Thanks for ruining my chances with James.  He now thinks I'm an insane stalker."

            "And he didn't think that before?" asked Alex.

            "Of course not!"

            "Right."


	12. Chapter Twelve

Left With You  
  
Chapter 12  
  
By Mrs. Prongs  
  
A/N: Do not look at me like that for not updating in months. =(  
  
I'm back now! I hope that's enough.  
  
Wee.  
  
All of this music I've been listening to butchered my inspiration and threw it out of the window.  
  
----------------  
  
"There was a farmer that had a dog and Bingo was his NAME-O!"  
  
"Sirius?"  
  
"Yes, Remy?"  
  
"SHUT. UP."  
  
Sirius looked hurt. "But I was just trying to entertain you and Jenny. You're boring her. Can't you see?," he said, half-heartedly waving towards the girl.  
  
Remus looked at Jenny, who was looking at the floor mumbling, then back at Sirius.  
  
"What goes on with me and girls is none of your concern and I certainly do not need your help."  
  
"But-"  
  
"-at all."  
  
--------------  
  
"So," Stephanie said, trying to get a conversation going. They had been walking in complete silence for the past 15 minutes and it was driving her mad.  
  
"So what?," Lily asked harshly. This girl. THIS GIRL. Was ruining her chances at being with-  
  
Wait. No.  
  
SHE DID NOT LIKE POTTER.  
  
At all.  
  
Right?  
  
Stephanie looked offended. "Well you don't have to snap. I don't know what got your knickers in a twist, but I certainly have not done anything to you."  
  
Lily rolled her eyes.  
  
"Aw, Lily-kins is a bit jealous that my 'girlfriend' joined us, is she?," James said, whispering into her ear.  
  
"I have NO clue what you're talking about."  
  
"Suuuure," Prongs said knowingly. "And the world isn't round."  
  
"Sod off, Potter," bit Lily, who crossed her arms huffily.  
  
"Fine. Be that way. But I'm sure STEPH will enjoy my company," he said, strolling up to Stephanie.  
  
James tapped her head, as she was consideribly shorter and Lily and most definitely shorter than he. It would be kind of awkward him wrapping his arm around her.  
  
Stephanie looked up. "Oh hello," she smiled.  
  
"So what are we getting next on the list?"  
  
"Oh, uh, how would I know? Alexandra deals with that. She has the list," she said, glancing towards her best friend who was walking along side of her.  
  
She glanced back up to James. "She's the smart one, you know."  
  
James furrowed his eyebrow. "Huh. You're smart yourself being in Ravenclaw and all, though."  
  
"Oh, I would have preferred being in Gryffindor. I'm not sure why I got put in Ravenclaw," she said, shaking her head.   
  
"Oh, well, I wouldn't have minded you being in Gryffindor with me."  
  
Stephanie laughed.   
  
"Ouch. My feet are killing me," she said, stopping and slipping off her shoe to find a water blister around her heel.  
  
"Damn. Do you need a hand? Or a body?," James asked.  
  
"What on earth are you talking about?"  
  
At that, James picked her up and started carrying her down the hall.  
  
Alex stiffled a laugh and glanced at Lily, who was, expectedly, fuming out the ears.  
  
"I don't know what's the big deal about a little water blister," Lily mumbled loudly, making sure Stephanie heard her.  
  
**************  
  
"Jenny?"  
  
...silence.  
  
"JENNY?"  
  
...  
  
"JENNY?!"  
  
"ACK WHAT?," the girl said, almost jumping out of her socks.  
  
Sirius frowned. "You didn't have to scream in my ear!"  
  
"You didn't have to startle me!"  
  
"Well you didn't have to ignore me!"  
  
"Well you didn't have to talk to me in the first place!"  
  
"Well you didn't have to be born!"  
  
"Well you didn't-"  
  
"WOULD YOU TWO BE QUIET," Remus yelled. "STOP ACTING LIKE CHILDREN OR THE TRAIN STOPS HERE. I AM THIS CLOSE (he motioned with his fingers here) TO GOING BACK UP TO THE DORMITORY AND JUST NOT PARTICIPATING IN THIS RIDICULOUS, OVER-THE-TOP SCAVENGER HUNT."  
  
Jenny and Sirius stared at Remus.  
  
"Sorry," Jenny apoligised meekly.  
  
"Yea...what she said," Sirius said, frozen in place.  
  
"Ahem," Remus said, gaining his composure. "Where are we going?"  
  
"To get underwear," Jenny stated.  
  
"Right then, we can just get some of mine," he said, and set off into the direction of the Gryffindor dormitories.  
  
Jenny blushed a deep crimson.  
  
She would NOT act like Stephanie did with James' boxers.  
  
At all.  
  
Because she's NOT insane like said friend.  
  
Really. 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Left With YOU

Chapter Thirteen

By Mrs. Padfoot

Author's Note: _Well_, it's been awhile.  Not that that's my fault!  One of the nice things about co-authoring... you don't always have to take the blame =) Honestly?  I'm not sure if I like this chapter or not.  It's very... action-packed, I'll give it that.  And long.  I blame Mrs. Prongs for any... issues this chapter may have.  I lost my touch while she was in fanfiction procrastination land.

In any case, you know how she is about Steph/James... and that was definitely a key influence in her writing of Chapter 12... but I've tried to make up with it for at least a fair amount of Lily/James before they find our dear Ravenclaw friend...

Which isn't happening until the next chapter.  I'm going to shut up now.

Wait, no I'm not.  I have to say thanks to everyone for waiting so long for us... we almost hit the three month mark, guys.  =\

I actually had this written awhile ago, but my internet died.  So, um, blame Qwest.  Or whatever we have.

%%

                Lily Evans could not exactly claim to be the most easygoing person in the world.  In fact, sometimes she was considerably less than easygoing.  Despite that, she could only name two people she had ever really hated:  James Potter (and she didn't even hate him anymore) and her sister Petunia (who she only hated half the time).

                Stephanie Glenn was quickly becoming the third.

                _Steph_ (as James called her) was currently laughing at James' completely unfunny joke, while being carried loftily by James himself.  And the bastard was smiling at her.  They were shamelessly flirting, and it was all rather disgusting.

                In fact, it was absolutely disgusting.

                Of course, she was afraid that her disgust might look more like jealousy to the outside viewer, but, of course it wasn't.  In fact, she was glad she had never returned James' affection.  He was clearly just a player who couldn't stay with just one girl for longer than he had to.  The bastard.

                And he was smelling Stephanie's hair again.

                "Dammit.  What's wrong with _apple_ shampoo?" she muttered to herself.

                "What?" asked Alexandra vaguely, looking up from the list.

                "Nothing," muttered Lily.  "What're we on, anyway?"

                "Yeah, Alex," said Stephanie.  "What are we on?"

                Just the sound of her voice made Lily want to trip James and make the two of them fall on top of each other.  Wait, no.  Because that would be a bad situation for James and Stephanie to be in.

                It made Lily want to choke her.

                That was better.

                "Well, we've got most everything now," said Alexandra, "except underwear."

                Stephanie blinked.

                "Wait, but – "

                Lily blinked, and in the milliseconds it took her to open her eyes again, everything had changed.  Alex had somehow managed to dash all the way to where Stephanie and James had been, and in the process of clamping her hand over her friend's mouth, had managed instead, to knock James and Stephanie to the floor.

                Or, rather, James had been knocked to the floor.  Stephanie had been knocked on top of James.

                And it was disgusting.

                "Sorry," said Stephanie softly.

                Lily gagged.

                "It's... no big deal," said James, sitting up.

                Stephanie sat up with a soft smile on her face before she noticed that Alexandra and Lily were staring at her.

                "Umm..." said Steph, trying to change the subject back to what it had been before.  "Well, god, Alex.  I wasn't going to mention – James'... marbles.  You just created a huge scene for absolutely no reason at all.  I was going to say, when did we get most everything?"

                "Oh," said Alex, blinking a few moments so she could start thinking again.  "Well, um.  You guys were all rather distracted – "

                "I wasn't!" said Lily.

                "Oh, come on, Lily," said James.  "You were standing in the corner, fuming.  Obviously _very _– "

                "Disgusted," said Lily.  "You and Stephanie – "

                "Right anyway," said Alex quickly, trying to avoid a fight.  "Everyone was distracted, I was bored, and you all were following me anyway, so I just got everything.  It's not my fault you didn't notice."

                "Oh," said Steph.

                "Yeah," said Alex.

                "So we're about to win anyway?  Well, can't we just use James' marbles?"

                It took five seconds for Stephanie to realize what she had just said.

                "Wait," said James.  "I thought all that was left was underwear."

                "Weeee-elllll," said Alex, "yeah.  And?"

                "Well, what do my marbles have to do with underwear?  Are my marbles underwear?  Or something?" asked James, confused.

                "Um," said Alexandra.  "Marbles... are... uh..."

                "Underwear?" asked Lily, still puzzling out what Stephanie had just accidentally revealed.

                "No!" said Alex and Steph quickly.

"See, marbles... especially James'... are ... easily... transfigured..." said Stephanie.

                "Marbles aren't easily transfigured," said Lily.

                Great.  Just their luck that Alexandra wasn't the only one who paid attention in class.

                "Well, um," said Alex.  "See, Stephanie's really good at it.  Transfiguring marbles... is one of her best talents."

                "We're not that stupid, you two," said Lily, rolling her eyes.  "I want to know what's going – "

                "No, really," said Alex, ignoring the look of death and destruction Stephanie was giving her, "She's an amazing... marble transfigurer.  She just needs to do it... in private."

                "I... what?" asked Stephanie as Alex grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of earshot.

                "Steph," said Alex.  "We've dug ourselves into a hole.  And I know what we have to do."

                "Transfigure marbles in private?" said Steph, wondering what the hell was going on inside Alex's head.

                "No," said Alex, rolling her eyes.  "That was an excuse."

                "I know," said Stephanie, "but... please.  Marble transfiguring?  Only Sirius would believe _that_."

                "I'll make Lily and James believe it," said Alex, not even bothering to defend Sirius.  "While you take James' Christmas underpants to Remus."

                "I don't want to give them to Remus!" said Steph loudly.

                "Shh!" said Alex.

                "Why do I have to give them to Remus?" asked Stephanie, quieter.

                "Don't you see?  We need underpants, but we can't use those because James would recognize them.  Remus, Sirius, and Jenny need James' underpants, but there are none left!  So you have to give Remus James' underpants in exchange for some of his."

                "I don't want Remus' underwear," muttered Stephanie.  "I want James'."

                "Do you want to win, or not?" said Alex.

                "Why don't _you_ go get Remus' underwear, Miss Competitive?  If I go, James will be alone with _her_.  She's been waiting to make her move all afternoon!" said Steph.

                "You have to go because you're the expert marble transfigurer," said Alex, as if it were the most logical explanation in the world.

                "Right," said Stephanie.

                "Go on," said Alex.

                "This is absolutely ridiculous," said Stephanie, stalking down the hall.

%%

                Steph was really a bad influence, Jenny had decided.  It had taken all her inner strength to keep from looking at Remus' underwear every few seconds.  And she didn't want to know what she would do if she was able to get her hands on those beautiful...

                Right.  Anyway.  Steph really was a really bad influence.

                "What?"

                "What what?" snapped Jenny.  Sirius really could be annoying as hell.

                "You were mumbling something about Stephanie and Remus," said Sirius.

                "It was your imagination," mumbled Jenny.

                "No, it wasn't," said Sirius, "but, anyway, if you were thinking about what a great couple they'd make... I was thinking the same thing!  We should get them together!"

                "Stephanie and Remus?  As a couple?"

                "Yeah!" said Sirius.

                "That's a match made in heaven, all right," said Jenny.

                "I know," said Sirius happily.

                Jenny whirled.

                "It's called sarcasm.  _Sarcasm_.  Do I have to spell it out for you?  And, for the record, I think there are few worse couples than Stephanie and Remus.  Please refrain from getting them together."

                "I miss Alex," said Sirius sadly.

                Jenny blinked.

                "What did that have to do with anything at all?"

                "A lot," said Sirius.  "You're mean, and Moony's boring and mean, and I miss Alex," said Sirius.

                "Well, she probably doesn't miss you," muttered Jenny.

                "Would you two shut up?  I have had it up to here with you," said Remus.

                Jenny sighed.  She was grumpy, tired, irritated, and everything she did seemed to irritate the guy she liked.  Oh, this was absolutely _lovely_.  She needed... a distraction.

                "Hi Jenny," said Stephanie, falling into step beside her.

                "Steph?  What are you doing here?" asked Jenny.

                "Transfiguring marbles," said Steph.

                "What?"

                "Nevermind," said Stephanie.  "Can you tell Remus I have a trade to propose?"

                "Um, well," said Jenny.  "No."

                "Stop doing that!" groaned Steph.

                "Doing what?"

                "That shifty eyes thing!  Just tell Remus I have a trade to propose," said Stephanie.

                "I can't!"

                "Why not?"

                "He's mad at me," sighed Jenny.

                "Mad?  How did you get him mad?  And don't tell me you talked to him because I know you didn't!"

                "I was arguing with Sirius!  You know how _that _is," sighed Jenny.

                "How can anyone _not _argue with Sirius?" said Steph.

                "Alex manages," sighed Jenny.

                "Well that's Alex," said Steph.  "She's just... Alex."

                "Right," said Jenny uncertainly.

                "Anyway, it's not like they ever do much talking," muttered Steph.

                "Thank you for that lovely mental picture, Steph," said Jenny.  "Can we please change the subject now?"

                "Oh, right!  The trade!  I need to talk to Remus.  I want some of his underwear," said Steph.

                "WHAT?" yelped Jenny.  Sirius and Remus, just ahead of them, turned.

                "Hi Steph!" said Sirius.  "We were just talking about you and Alex!"

                "We were?" asked Remus, his tone clipped and irritated.

                "Oh, yeah," said Sirius.  "Remember, Moony?"

                "I wouldn't know," said Remus, "I tuned you out when you started talking."

                "What?" asked Sirius.

                Taking advantage of their bickering, Jenny turned back to Stephanie.

                "You already have James' underwear!  Why do you want Remus'?"

                "Because James will recognise his underwear, of course," said Stephanie.  "Anyway, you guys need James' underwear, not Remus', so I figured -- "

                "Alex figured," said Jenny.

                "What makes you say that?" said Stephanie.  "I come up with good plans!"

                "_Your _plan wouldn't have involved giving up James' underwear," said Jenny.

                "Fine.  _Alex _figured that it would be a logical trade."

                "Well, too bad," said Jenny.  "We may have Remus' underwear, but YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM!"

                "She can't have what?" asked Remus, turning around.

%%

                "Where's Stephanie going?" asked James, watching her turn around the corner.  Lily made a harrumphing sound.

                "Oh, she's off to her marble-transfiguring place," said Alexandra.

                "Marble-transfiguring place?" asked Lily skeptically.

                "Mmhmm," said Alex.

                "Where's that?" asked James.

                "A cave fifty meters below the school," said Alex knowingly.

%%

                "Um," said Jenny.

                "Oh, give it up.  I want to propose a trade, Remus, but Jenny here doesn't want us to win," said Stephanie.

                "WELL.  I don't want you to win either!" said Sirius.

                "Shut up, Sirius," said Remus.  "What trade, Stephanie?"

                "James' underpants," said Steph, reluctantly extracting them from her robe pocket, "for some of yours."

                "Why?" said Remus.

                "Because the last thing we need is underwear!  And we can't use James', because he doesn't know we took them!"

                "_Last _thing?" asked Sirius.

%%

                "A cave fifty meters below the school?," repeated James.  "Right.  I know all the passageways in this school and there's no cave fifty meters below the school!"

                "I was kidding," said Alex.  "She's in the dormitory."

                "The dormitory?" asked Lily.  "The Ravenclaw dormitory?"

                "Yes," snapped Alex.

                "But Steph was walking away from the Ravenclaw dormitories," said Lily.

                "How do you know that?" asked Alex.  "You're a Gryffindor!"

                "I'm an _intelligent_ Gryffindor," said Lily.  "Shocking though that concept may be."

                "Well...," covered Alex.  "Um.  Dammit.  I thought she went to the dormitories!"

                "Lovely," muttered James.

                "Um, look, I'll go see where she went," said Alex.  "You two stay here."

%%

                "Yes, the last thing!" snapped Stephanie.  "Now can I please have some boxers so that we can go win?"

                Jenny wasn't exactly sure what happened next.  She had made the mistake of blinking.  But when she opened her eyes again, James' boxers were across the hall, Sirius had his want out, and Steph was on the floor.

                "Sirius, you IDIOT!" yelped Remus.  "Why the hell did you stun her?"

                "She was going to win!" said Sirius.  "Anyway, now we have Jamesey's boxers and we can win!"

                "Wait, wait, back up," said Jenny.  "Sirius can stun people?"

                Sirius glared at her.

                "You think it's bad now, but you'll see," he said, taking a macho pose and turning to the wall as it it were his audience.  "We'll win!  And Alexandra won't know where Stephanie went, and they'll just be waiting, and waiting for Stephanie to come back!"

                "Um," said Jenny.  "Sirius – "

                "And Alex, Lily and James will all stand there wondering why Stephanie's taking so long, and all the while, we'll get the rest of the stuff on the list and by the time Stephanie's woken up, we'll have won!"

                "Sirius!"

                "It's brilliant!  Don't you see?"

                "No," said an icy voice.  "I don't."

%%

                "I think I'm going insane, Lily," sighed James, sinking against the wall.

                "You've always been insane, James," said Lily, sinking next to him.

                "Thanks for that," said James.

                "Anytime," muttered Lily.

                There was a lengthly pause, and Lily found herself wishing for the days when the spirited banter between them came so easily.

                "I'm worried," said James.  "Why didn't Stephanie go to the dormitory?"

                Lily shut her eyes as tightly as she could.

                "What are you doing, Lily?" asked James.

                "Imagining this all away," she muttered.

                "Why?"

                "Because," she said, "this day has gone from bad to worse.  Sirius blackmailed me into this, you know.  And right now, I'm thinking that maybe him spreading _that _all over the school would be better than going through all this."

                "Wait," said James.  "Spreading what all over the school?"

%%

                "Alex!" said Sirius, looking surprised to see her.

                "Hi, yourself," said Alexandra, looking very irritated.  "There's no need to explain anything.  I heard it all."

                "Um... oh," said Sirius.

                "I can't believe you.  I just... I can't _believe _you!  Waiting until we were all gone, and then trying to ruin our chances of winning!  You immoral bastard.  _I _am going to ask Malcolm for some of _his _underwear."

                With that said, Alex whirled and stalked off in the opposite direction.

                "Who's Malcolm?" asked Sirius, sounding worried.

                "Oh, you know him.  That tall, dark, and handsome Ravenclaw Chaser?" said Jenny.

                "She's asking another boy to give her his underpants?" asked Sirius, turning white.

                "You made one major miscalculation, Sirius," explained Jenny.  "You forgot how competitive Alex is."

                "Oh," said Sirius, looking so forlorn that Jenny had to feel sorry for him.

                "Don't feel too bad," said Jenny.  "She'll probably forgive you.  _After_ she's won."

                "Great," moaned Sirius, putting his head in his hands.

%%

                "Oh.  Well... Sirius just said he was going to spread... things," said Lily helpfully.

                "About?"

                "Oh, me," said Lily.

                "And?"

                "And what?" asked Lily.

                "What about?"

                "Does it matter?" she asked.

                "Yeah," he said.  "Yeah it does."

%%

                "I've never seen Alex that... creepy," said Sirius.

                "That's right," said Jenny.  "You didn't know her when Lily beat her on that one Ancient Runes test."

                "What happened?"

                "I wouldn't know," said Jenny, "the only one who even went near her that week was Steph.  That was when we decided that Steph should have been a Gryffindor.  Don't worry, though, she's usually quite mellow."

                "Well, hmph," said Sirius.  "That doesn't help me much now, does it?"

                "It's your own fault, you know," said Jenny.  "I can't help you!"

                There was a long pause, and Jenny wondered why everything seemed colder all of a sudden.

                "Yes you can, Jenny," said Sirius.  "Yes, yes you can!"

%%

                "Look, it's no big deal, anyway," said Lily.  "He just... he saw me... out of bed one night."

                "And?" asked James.

                "And what?"

                "And then what else did he see?"

                "_Nothing_," said Lily.  "We were... I was just asleep."

                "We?" asked James.

                "It doesn't matter," insisted Lily.

                "Yeah," said James, staring at her intently, "yeah it does.  To me."

                The look he was giving her was a strange mix of jealousy, curiosity, and... something else.  Lily tried to look away, but his eyes, for some reason, were suddenly all-too captivating, and Lily bit her lip as she looked into them.  A sort of understanding passed between them, and Lily wondered what was happening.

                And then the moment passed.

                Lily cursed the stray second year that had run through the hall before she caught herself – she didn't want to be in that sort of... moment... with James _Potter_.  It simply wasn't right.  And so she dusted herself off and stood up.

                "Let's go find the stray members of our group," she said.

                "Alex told us to stay here," he argued.

                "Well they're taking too long," said Lily, starting to walk off in the direction that Alex had disappeared in only fifteen minutes earlier.  "Come on."


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Left With YOU  
  
Chapter 14  
  
By Mrs. Prongs.  
  
A/N: I know you all probably hate me. But you see...well, no you don't see. I have no excuses this time other than sheer laziness and the hate of the game.  
  
I got out of the swing and for that I'm really sorry.  
  
But see, Alex wasn't online for a month. So it's sort of her fault, too.  
  
Whoo.  
  
I think I've lost my touch, but don't worry. I'll gain it back eventually. There won't be any more 4 month and 10 day pauses. I promise.  
  
--------------------------  
  
After several minutes of walking in complete silence, James heard stomping coming towards them. In a flash, Alexandra had come up on them and passed them.  
  
"Alexandra!," he called, looking toward her. Alex swerved around on her right heel and stared at James expectantly.   
  
"Where are you going?," James asked, furrowing his brow.  
  
"I'm going to get underpants. Why? Why am I going to get underpants? Because Sirius Black is a moron," she answered, seething. At that, Alex turned on her heel once more and marched down the corridor, disappearing from view.   
  
James looked at Lily and blinked.   
  
%%  
  
Remus looked at Stephanie's rigid body for a moment. "Are we just going to leave her here?," he asked as he looked at Sirius and Jenny, uncertainty in his voice.  
  
Sirius shrugged and Jenny scowled.   
  
"Of course not!," she exclaimed, walking over to her. She grabbed her shoulders and pulled a bit, only managing to move her a few inches before dropping her again.   
  
"I think we should," Sirius said, annoyed at the whole situation. "How DARE her win before we do."  
  
"What are you TALKING about you oaf?," Jenny asked, putting her hands on her hips.  
  
Remus raised his eyebrows. "You've got a point..."  
  
Jenny was about to protest, but bit her tongue before she could say anything.  
  
"Plus it's not as if she'll DIE or anything being left here. Someone will come across her sooner or later," Remus continued, thinking.  
  
Sirius wrapped his arm around Remus happily. "That's the spirit!"  
  
%%  
  
"Bloody hell," James muttered as he tripped over an object in the floor.  
  
Lily tried not to giggle as she looked at what James could have tripped over. Hair? She took a double take, noticing it was a body.  
  
"It's Stephanie," she stated, leaning over her. "She's been stunned."  
  
Everything that Alex had said started to make sense to Lily.  
  
"Stunned?," James asked, squinting his eyes at Stephanie's body.  
  
Lily nodded. "No less by Sirius," she said, standing up and sighing. She slapped her hands together. "Okay let's go."  
  
She started to walk off.   
  
"You can't just LEAVE her here!," James called to Lily.  
  
"The hell I can't," she said, smiling lightly and walking down the corridor.  
  
James rolled his eyes. "It's not very nice to let jealousy get the best of you!," James told her knowingly. Lily stopped dead in her tracks. Thinking a moment, she turned around and walked back to James.  
  
"Fine," she half-snapped. James bent over and pulled Stephanie up, wrapping one arm around her waist and then lifting the rest of her up by her legs.   
  
Lily bit the inside of her cheek.  
  
She was so not jealous of the situation.  
  
Why should she be? Stephanie was stunned. She couldn't help it.  
  
James just had to go and be the hero as usual again.  
  
She looked at James carrying the girl for a second.  
  
Maybe she WAS jealous.   
  
Just a little.  
  
What? No. That was preposterous.  
  
One thing was for sure.  
  
She was fucking insane.  
  
%%  
  
"I still feel guilty about leaving Stephanie there," Jenny said glumly as they reached the Gryffindor dormitory. Remus crawled through the portrait as she tried not to look at him.   
  
Sirius shrugged and leaned against the stone wall.  
  
"Don't you see, Jenny? She would have won before us," Sirius told her logically.  
  
Jenny rolled her eyes.  
  
"You, dear sir, are a moron," Jenny informed him as she crossed her arms around her chest and waited for Remus impatiently.  
  
"Anyway, what's your big plan?," Jenny asked.  
  
"Oh, right. The plan. You and I. We stage a romance. You know, it'll work out for the both of us. You get Remus. I get Alex," Sirius stated simply.  
  
Jenny raised an eyebrow. "How did you know I liked Remus?"  
  
Sirius sighed. "I'm not daft."  
  
"Hmph. But how would that work?," she asked him.  
  
"Don't you see? They'll be jealous! Because Remus likes you, too. He's just afraid to admit it," Sirius said.  
  
Jenny thought for a moment and smiled. "I've underestimated your intelligence, Black."   
  
--------------------------  
  
A/N:  
  
For the nut who reviewed saying that we were insulting Sirius' memory:  
  
Darling, he's a character in a book. He has no memory to insult. Thanks.  
  
Love, Mrs. Prongs.  
  
P.S. You are fucking insane. More so than us.  
  
P.S.S. I love Sirius just as much as the next person.  
  
P.S.S.S. We appreciate you reading, though. 


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Left With You

Chapter 15

By Mrs. Padfoot

Author's Note: I'm absolutely pathetic, so I wrote on the same day as Mrs. Prongs. Well, half of this, anyway.

The whole Jenny/Sirius thing? Yeah. That was her job. But she's making me do it.

If you know who the real Malcolm Reed is, you rock. I love him too. What is it with me and fictional characters?

By the way, on _my_ last chapter, some of you asked why Lily didn't tell him. Well, I wasn't thinking when I wrote that. And. The official explanation is that Lily had a brain lapse too. Sorry = But this chapter is long, so that... makes up for it?

--

"And _then_," said Alexandra with flourish, "he blew up the underwear drawer! So then I thought, since underwear was totally important to winning... it was the last thing we needed, why don't I just ask Malcolm?"

"Right," said Malcolm blankly.

Alex sighed and bit her lip, trying to look cute. She was, in fact, aware that the best way into Malcolm Reed's heart was through lengthly discussions of explosions and other such spells. He liked gung ho girls.

Alex wasn't exactly sure what gung ho meant, but she was pretty sure that that was the type of girl Malcolm liked.

She was also pretty sure that she wasn't very gung ho.

"So, um, can I have some? Of your underwear?" asked Alex.

"I'm out," he explained blankly.

"Why? Do you only have one pair or something?"

"Yeah," said Malcolm.

"Ew," said Alex before realizing it. She slapped her hand to her mouth, trying to stop herself, but it was too late.

She had just successfully ruined whatever fraction of a chance she had with the second hottest guy in school.

Hottest, she reminded herself. She couldn't just keep thinking of that bastard as the hottest one.

Malcolm was looking distinctly annoyed with her now, so she sighed and excused herself, wishing she hadn't chosen Malcolm as her target in the first place.

She mentally made a list of things that had gone wrong in the past hour and grimaced, wondering why she hadn't just used James' underwear. All they would have to say was that Sirius had written out the list and included James' and that Remus and Jenny had stolen it. As for why Steph was holding the underwear, that could easily be explained with only a fraction of embarrassment for her best friend.

And plus, embarrassment probably hurt less than hitting the floor.

%%

"So, wait," said Jenny, gesturing to the portrait of the fat lady. "Why are we here again?"

"Because, um, Remus... needed something?" said Sirius vaguely.

"See, usually I would know that," said Jenny. "But I was looking at Remus, and Remus is distracting. I mean, he has this thing, and so when I'm looking at him, I can't concentrate. And you do not know how liberating it is to be able to talk about that. Wow. Am I rambling?"

"Yes," said Sirius. "But I don't mind. Alex rambles a lot."

"She does, doesn't she?"

A glazed look came over Sirius' eyes, and he opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a loud thump thumpity thump coming from inside the portrait.

"It's Remus," she hissed.

"How can you tell?" asked Sirius.

"Because that's what it sounds like when he comes down the stairs," said Jenny, as if it were obvious.

"Should I be creeped out that you know that?" asked Sirius.

"You should be kissing me," said Jenny, sounding slightly disgusted, "so Remus will be jealous. When he comes out."

"Right," said Sirius uncertainly, taking a deep breath. He leaned down slowly, not enjoying the anticipation. It wasn't that Jenny was unattractive, because she wasn't, he just didn't particularly feel like kissing her. And he wondered what the hell Alex was doing to him.

Just then, the portrait swung open, revealing Remus, empty handed and stunned.

There was a long, cold silence as Jenny and Sirius moved away from each other.

"God, Moony, do you have any sense of timing?" said Sirius finally.

"Sirius," said Remus, at a loss for words. "Jenny?"

"Jenny what?" said Sirius.

"Were you going to kiss her?"

"Yes, I was."

Remus started to walk away, still plainly shocked.

"Moooooony," said Sirius. "Where the hell are you going?"

Remus turned around slowly, glad for the change in topic.

"I was going to go get some underwear of mine," said Remus.

"Um, Remus," said Jenny. "You have some of your underwear, remember? It's in your pocket."

"Right," said Remus, not checking. "But we need James' underwear, remember? And you know who has the last pair of his?"

"Who?" asked Jenny and Sirius.

"Stephanie."

%%

"Stephanie looks so peaceful when she's asleep, doesn't she?" said James.

"Oh, very," muttered Lily.

"You're not even looking," pouted James.

"That's because I couldn't care less," she informed him.

"How do you think she got stunned?" sighed James.

"Sirius," said Lily simply.

"You keep saying that. Now, I on the other hand, don't see why Sirius would do that," said James.

"Neither do I," said Lily. "But it's bloody obvious he did."

"Did you just swear?" asked James.

"No."

"Yes you did," said James. "But, anyway, I still don't get it."

"Why am I not surprised," said Lily, irritated. "There were two major clues that indicated Sirius was the cause of Stephanie's tragic demise."

"Well, I'm sorry, Sherlock," said James. "But I missed them both. What were they?"

"First, when we saw Alexandra, she was mumbling about Sirius and idiocy," explained Lily. "Which, for most people, isn't abnormal. But for Alexandra, it is. Of course, a little while later, we happen upon Stephanie, stunned. And suddenly Alex's comment makes sense."

"That doesn't prove Sirius did it," said James indignantly.

"No, but the fact that his wand was next to her?" said Lily. "Yeah. It was Sirius."

"But what was his motive?" asked James.

"Maybe he didn't want her to go to her marble transfiguring place," said Lily.

"Lily, you know as well as I do that that was some crap Alex was making up to cover up something she didn't want us to know."

"Do I?"

"Yes," said James. "Because I don't have marbles."

%%

"...and, I know it's a bit forward of me, but, I was wondering if I could have a pair of your underwear?" asked Alex, biting her lip. "It's just that... we need it to win, and, god, it would help, so much. I mean, like, you have no idea."

Frank Longbottom blinked. He wasn't even hot, but Alex was getting desperate. She was actually surprised to find that some people feared the wrath of Sirius. Did Sirius even have a wrath?

"Look, Alexandra, you're pretty and all, but I have a girlfriend..." Frank began.

"I'm not asking you out," said Alex quickly. "Ew. I just want some of your underwear."

"Ew?" he asked, his male pride wounded.

Alex grimaced and tried to think quickly.

"Look, I, ew, it's... a reflex?" she said, wincing at how ditzy she sounded.

But he was already gone

%%

"Where is she?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"Do you think someone found her?"

"Oh, god, do you think they did?"

"They must've..."

"Hey, what's that?"

"Sirius... is that your wand?"

"It is, isn't it?"

"Oh, my god," said Sirius. "I'm gonna die. I stunned another student."

"You say that like you haven't before," said Remus.

"Baby, we've gotta hide you," said Jenny soothingly.

"Baby?" asked Remus, sounding disgusted.

"We can't let them find you," said Jenny, ignoring Remus completely. For once.

"Where can we hide?" asked Sirius.

"Wow, I never thought I'd hear you say _that_," muttered Remus.

"Oh, baby, I... don't know," said Jenny melodramatically, sneaking a sideways glance at Remus.

"Oh my god," mumbled Remus.

"Oh, sweetie, I've got it," said Sirius. "Follow me."

"To the ends of the earth," said Jenny with a giggle.

Remus didn't even think to go with them. Previously, he would have considered the idea of a couple more nauseating than Alexandra and Sirius absolutely and completely impossible. But Jenny and Sirius were proving him wrong.

%%

"Where are we going anyway?," Lily asked after a moment, frustrated at the prospect that James could be falling for Stephanie as they spoke. Of course, the idea of running around the school without a set destination frustrated her as well.

"To find Alex, of course," James said logically, several steps in front of Lily.

"Why?" asked Lily.

"Because obviously," said James. "She has some secret. That involves marbles."

"Doesn't involve marbles," said Lily. "We decided that was the coverup, remember?"

"I think it must involve marbles," said James. "Because there's a lump in her robe pocket that could _only_ be marbles."

"Where?" asked Lily.

"There," said James.

"I can't see it," said Lily.

"Well... fine," sighed James, setting the resting Stephanie down.

"Potter, you idiot," said Lily. "That could be anything."

"No, it's marbles," said James. "See that lump? That is a marble."

"It could be a wrinkle, a grape, hell, it's not even circular," moaned Lily.

"Well then check it," said James, "because, see, I think it must be a marble."

"_You _check it," said Lily.

"I'm not snooping in her stuff," said James.

"Oh, I'm sure she'd _love _to catch you snooping in her stuff," said Lily. "She's been fawning over you all _day_!"

"Please," said James. "Do you really think I'm going to ruin any chance whatsoever of getting lucky with her?

"Oh, so now you want to get lucky with _her_," said Lily icily.

"Well _you _rejected me," said James bitterly.

"I did _not _reject you," yelled Lily.

It was only when her words echoed back to her that she realized exactly what she had said.

"Yeah," said James after a long pause. "I'm, uh, um, I'll check Stephanie's pocket."

"Okay," mumbled Lily.

James reached into the lumpy pocket in question, and produced a pair of boxers.

"Christmas boxers," said Lily. "Not marbles. I win."

James just stared at the boxers.

"James?" ventured Lily.

"I, um," said James. "These are my boxers."

"What?" said Lily.

"My boxers," said James. "These... how did Stephanie get my boxers?"

"She could have stolen them," said Lily.

"Wow, that is just... um," said James.

"Obsessive," said Lily.

"In a sweet way," said James.

"She had your _boxers_," said Lily, disgusted.

"There's got to be a better explanation," said James. "I mean. Seriously. We have to wake her up."

"And how do you propose we do that?"

"We take her to the prefect's bathroom," said James. "Obviously."

"Why would we take her to the prefects bathroom?" asked Lily, confused.

"Water," said James, "Duh."

"Did you just say duh?"

"No," said James.

"Just checking."

%%

Guys officially sucked.

Alexandra wondered vaguely why it had taken her so long to arrive at that conclusion.

She sighed, and wondered for what felt like the zillionth time why she had insisted that Stephanie take James' underpants to Remus. Because, of course, Sirius would have to do something completely rude and mean and idiotic and stun Stephanie just for the sake of a stupid game.

The idiot probably hadn't even thought to take James' underpants out of his pocket.

The dumbbutt.

She sighed and moped against a wall, wondering why she suddenly had the feeling she had just missed a connection.

"Alexandra," said Remus, leaning against the wall next to her.

"Remus," she acknowledged.

"Anything new and exciting?" he sighed.

"Guys suck," she said. "But then, that's not new or exciting, is it?"

"Thanks," said Remus.

"Oh, not you," said Alexandra. "I'll elevate you to the role of non-sucking guy."

"Right."

Pause.

"I don't know. What's new and exciting with you?"

"Well, lots of new stuff," said Remus. "But not so much exciting as disgusting."

"Oh, do tell," said Alex.

"Jenny and Sirius," said Remus.

"Jenny and Sirius what?"

"Jenny are Sirius... are... I think... a couple," said Remus, sounding somewhat sick.

Alexandra looked at him once before bursting out into giggles.

"Oh, thank you, Remus, because, you know, I needed that. A good laugh."

"I'm not kidding," he said.

"Yes you are," said Alex.

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are," said Alex, sounding slightly desperate.

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are," said Alexandra, "you're horribly mistaken, because, that would never happen, because Sirius is deeply, deeply in love with me, and we all know Jenny is passionately in love with Re... gulus Black."

"Regulus Black?" asked Remus. "She's in love with Sirius' younger brother?"

"Oh yes," said Alex. "Truly, madly, deeply."

"Are you kidding?" asked Remus, sounding even more disgusted than before.

"Of course," said Alexandra quickly. "Jenny has never loved anyone ever and probably never will. She's just the non-loving type."

"Oh," said Remus, allowing just a note of sadness into his voice.

"Why?" said Alex. "Do you like her?"

"No," said Remus. "Of course not."

"God, well, now I'm glad I dumped him," said Alexandra. "Because it just shows that he's just flighty and mean and evil."

"You didn't dump him," said Remus slowly.

"Yes I did," said Alex.

"No, you didn't," said Remus. "You yelled at him a lot, but you didn't actually dump him."

"I didn't?"

"Nope," confirmed Remus.

"Oh, my god," said Alex, sounding scandalized. "So the talentless oaf is _cheating _on me? How dare he? I mean... people cheat on other people, but... no one cheats on me."

"I'm sorry?" said Remus awkwardly.

"Come on, Remus," said Alex. "We have to go find them so I can dump him before this goes too far."

--

P.S. Mrs. Prongs is writing right now. Just so you know.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Left With YOU  
  
Chapter 16/Final Chapter  
  
By Mrs. Prongs.  
  
A/N: I'm proud to bring you the final chapter of LWY. We've been working on it since October, and as much fun as we've had writing it, we're glad it's over.  
  
Thanks for all of the readers of all of our fictions. We hope to get another one out ASAP. Enjoy this chapter for the time being.  
  
---------------------------------  
  
"Are you just going to dump her under the faucet?," Lily asked. James shoved his boxers in his pocket.  
  
"No, no Lily. You have to be delicate with a creature like Stephanie," he told her as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.   
  
Lily scowled.   
  
"Delicate?," she repeated, wondering if she had heard wrong.  
  
James ignored her and turned one of the many gold faucets on. He gently moved Stephanie's head under the water.  
  
In a split second, she had woken up, screamed bloody murder, busted her head on the tap and fell into the pool sized tub.  
  
James stepped back and looked at her, gaping.   
  
"What in the hell is wrong with you?!," Stephanie screamed, climbing out of the tub and walking over toward the towels whilst leaving a wet trail behind her.  
  
"You were stunned!," James explained, flailing his arms.  
  
"So you DROWN me?," she asked, appalled.  
  
James scowled. "What were you doing with my underpants anyway?," he asked, trying to get out of explaining his idiocy.  
  
Stephanie's eyes widened as her hand went straight for her wand pocket. Realizing the inevitable, she frowned.  
  
"Don't try and change the subject, Potter," she said warningly, trying to dry off the best she could. "Plus I have no idea what you're talking about."  
  
"The underpants! In your pocket! That I found! In your pocket!," James explained, spluttering.  
  
Stephanie looked at him as if he were mentally ill.  
  
"Are you okay, James?," she asked, mock concern in her voice.  
  
James screwed his face in frustration. "Of COURSE I'm okay! You're the one not okay. Carrying a guy's underpants around in her pocket like no one's business!"  
  
Stephanie blinked at him.   
  
"Are you sure? Because I can take you to the Hospital Wing...," she told him.  
  
James threw up his hands in defeat. "Nevermind, nevermind," he mumbled, rubbing his temples and walking out of the bathroom with Lily and Stephanie behind him.  
  
"Now because of YOU," Stephanie told him, holding out her sopping wet robes. "I have to go changed." As soon as she said this, she turned in the opposite direction both Lily and James were headed.  
  
Lily turned to James.  
  
"Couldn't she have just magicked her clothes dry?"  
  
James shrugged, eyes still closed and fingers still massaging temples.  
  
%%  
  
"Where did they go anyway?," Alex said, powerwalking without really knowing where either of them were going.  
  
Remus shrugged as he tried to catch up with Alexandra.   
  
As soon as she turned the corner, Alex ran into something hard.  
  
She stepped back immediately and saw Stephanie, completely wet, standing in the middle of the corridor.  
  
"I've been looking all over for you!," Stephanie exclaimed, throwing a wet arm in the air with a scowl on her face.  
  
"What happened to you?," asked Alex, her brow furrowed.  
  
"James. He found the underpants," Steph explained quickly, still fully agitated. She pulled her wand out of her pocket and with a flick of the wrist, her robes were completely dry.  
  
Alex's jaw dropped. "What happened? How did you get out of it? That still doesn't explain you being soaked."  
  
"Played dumb of course," her friend answered bitterly, shoving her wand deep into her pocket. "Just wrote it off as him being totally insane."  
  
Alex giggled.   
  
"Anyway, did YOU get underpants?," she asked, looking between her and Remus.  
  
"Actually," Remus started, clearing his throat. "We're on a mission right now. To find Sirius and Jenny."  
  
Stephanie blinked.  
  
"Where did they go?," she asked flatly.  
  
"See, we don't know. Which is why we're finding them," the taller boy explained, raising his eyebrows enthusiastically.  
  
Stephanie squinted her eyes at him a bit. "Right." She turned to Alex. "So do you or don't you?"  
  
"Do I or don't I what?"  
  
"Have the boxers!," Stephanie told her in a frustrated tone.  
  
"Oh. Well, you see...," Alex trailed off and Stephanie sighed.  
  
"We're wasting time," Remus told them, checking his watch. He and Alex set off down the hall while Stephanie followed reluctantly.  
  
"Wait. Why are we trying to find them again?," she asked, trying to keep pace.  
  
Remus sighed and explained the whole situation.  
  
"They DIDN'T!," she said in one of her gossipy voices.  
  
"They did," Remus insisted.  
  
Stephanie shook her head. "They did NOT."  
  
Remus sighed. "Yes they DID."  
  
Stephanie gave him a knowing smile and shook her head again. "Nuh-uh. They couldn't have."  
  
Remus threw his hands into the air and stopped. "Yes! Yes they could have! Because they DID!," he exclaimed, obviously annoyed.  
  
Stephanie blinked. "Oh. Wow," she muttered, deep in thought.   
  
They all started to walk again.  
  
&&  
  
"Where are we going?," Lily asked James for what it seemed like the hundreth time that day.   
  
James was muttering to himself under his breath.  
  
Lily raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing?," she asked him.  
  
James sighed and opened his eyes a bit. "Wishing it all away," he said, a bit louder.  
  
Lily knew exactly how he felt.  
  
"I'm not mad, am I?," he asked in an uncertain tone, looking down at her. "I mean, the boxers were there! They were in her pocket! Weren't they?"  
  
Lily nodded quickly. "Of course they were. I saw them."  
  
"Then why didn't you defend my sanity back there?!," he exclaimed, randomly gesturing in the general direction of the prefect's bathroom.  
  
Lily shrugged and James groaned.  
  
%%  
  
"See, if we all just meet up somewhere," Stephanie rambled on logically. "We'll win, right? Because I mean, I was thinking that next time I see James, I could just tell him to give me his underpants back so we could win, but you know...," she trailed off and looked at both Alexandra and Remus, neither of who were listening to her.  
  
"Shut UP," Remus said after a moment.   
  
Stephanie frowned.  
  
"You don't have to be a bitter buttercup just because your girlfriend is making out with Black," she told him, shoving her hands in her pocket.  
  
"I don't have a girlfriend," he told her bitterly.  
  
Stephanie gave him a significant look.  
  
"Ah, but you do. Jenny," she said simply.  
  
Alexandra's eyes widened. "What are you on about, Stephanie?," she asked nervously.  
  
Remus looked at both of us skeptically. "But Jenny doesn't want to have anything to do with anyone."  
  
Stephanie sighed. "But you said that she was snogging the socks of Black. And she likes you, Remus," she informed him.   
  
&&  
  
"Now if we can just find Alex and Remus together," Jenny mused as her and Sirius walked down the empty corridors.   
  
"Then we could kiss again and make them totally and completely jealous of either of us," Sirius finished her sentence.  
  
Jenny nodded.  
  
"Right."  
  
&&  
  
After what it seemed like ages, and a huge, creepy coincedence, Lily, James, Stephanie, Remus, and Alexandra all ended up in the same corridor.   
  
Stephanie froze at the sight of James and James immediately looked down.   
  
"Where are YOU TWO going?," Remus asked, frustrated he ran into these two instead of the two he wanted.  
  
"We don't know," Lily said irritably. "Where's Sirius and Jenny?"  
  
Remus threw his hands in the air. "That's who we were looking for!"  
  
Just then, everyone heard chattering coming down the opposite  
  
A few seconds later, Jenny and Sirius emerged. They both stopped at the sight of the whole group there together.  
  
Quickly and sloppily they kissed as the rest looked on.   
  
"What was THAT?," Stephanie asked loudly, crossing her arms. "You like Remus," she exclaimed, gesturing towards Jenny. "And you unfortunantly like my best friend," she added, throwing her same hand toward Sirius.  
  
Alex and Remus gaped and Lily cleared her throat.   
  
"ANYWAY, now that we're all here, who's got what?," she asked, taking charge as usual.  
  
Stephanie pointed accusingly at James. "Give me those boxers," she demanded, holding her hand out expectantly.  
  
James frowned. "What?," he screeched.  
  
"So we can WIN," she explained logically.  
  
"Wait what?," Lily asked quickly. "That's not fair."  
  
"Yes it is. Alexandra and I have gotten all of the objects ourselves. And WE got James' boxers. Well, Jenny and Remus did. And it's on the list. Now hand them over," Stephanie insisted, scowling.  
  
"It's on the list?," James asked incredulously. "No it's not!"  
  
"It is on ours," Alexandra said, pulling it out of her pocket and shoving it in James' direction.  
  
James looked at the ripped piece of parchment, blinking to make sure he read it right.  
  
Sirius stood there awkwardly, trying not to look guilty, but tragically failing.  
  
Surprisingly, James said nothing. He simply handed Alex the list back as well as the boxers.  
  
"What are you doing?!," Lily asked, gesturing toward Alex. "Now we're going to lose!"  
  
"Like you cared before!," James said, laughing a bit. "Plus, it's only fair." He shot Sirius a look that read 'just you wait until tonight. you're dead.'  
  
Jenny stepped up. "You can't do that! Remus and I got his boxers!"  
  
James blinked, wondering how many people actually had a pair of his underpants in their posession. The thought was unnerving and he shook it off.  
  
Stephanie scowled at her. "Losers, keepers, weepers, whatever," she said quickly, waving her hand dismissively.   
  
"Well if you get James' boxers, we get something of yours!," Jenny exclaimed. "It's only fair."  
  
Alex sighed and shoved her hand in her pocket, pulling out the 'Leaf from the Forbidden Forest'.  
  
Stephanie scowled. "Now we're going to have to get another leaf! And it's raining!," she said, looking out the window.  
  
"So? Just run quickly," Jenny said giddily.   
  
Stephanie scowled. "I am not going out in that...wet stuff...that rain makes...," she trailed off, furrowing her brow as she tried to remember the right word.  
  
"Water?," James tried.   
  
Stephanie blushed.  
  
"Water," she confirmed, nodding.  
  
Alexandra glanced at the large door that led to the grounds. She turned to Stephanie.  
  
"Time me," she stated, preparing to run out into the rain.  
  
"Time you?," Stephanie asked, looking at Alex as if she were insane. "Why?"  
  
"Because I'm gung ho!," Alexandra explained as if it was the most logical reason in the world.  
  
"Wait...what?"  
  
Before Alex could answer, she was outside.   
  
"Aren't you supposed to be timing her?," Sirius asked, looking at the door like everyone else.  
  
Stephanie shrugged.   
  
In no time Alexandra was back in the entrance hall, holding the sopping wet leaf.  
  
"Well?," she asked expectantly, soaked from head to toe.  
  
Stephanie blinked. "Forty seconds?," she guessed, taking the leaf from Alex's hand and examining it.  
  
"Wow! I think that's good...," Alex said thoughtfully.   
  
Stephanie smiled and nodded. "Sure. Now let's get in there so we can win," she said quickly, walking towards the Great Hall with Sirius and Alex at her side and the rest behind them.  
  
"We're done!," Stephanie exclaimed loudly, holding up the list in victory.  
  
Dumbledore smiled and rose from his seat.  
  
"Ah, Miss Glenn. Too late, too late," he said in an apologetic tone.  
  
All three of them scowled.  
  
"What do you MEAN too late?," Sirius asked a bit obnoxiously.  
  
"Too late. Not on time. After schedule," Dumbledore rambled on. "Frank and Alice got here before you," he said, gesturing to the couple.  
  
Alex's jaw dropped. "You're KIDDING," she begged tragically, thinking of all the hard work they had been through.  
  
Dumbledore smiled with that twinkle in his eyes that was really getting on Stephanie's nerves at that moment in time. "Oh, I'm afraid not Miss Oatman."  
  
Sirius looked back on the rest of the group, daring them to laugh.   
  
And they did.  
  
Hard.  
  
And loud.  
  
Sirius scowled as everyone walked out of the Great Hall as quickly as they had entered.  
  
Stephanie threw her hands in the air. "ALL OF THAT. FOR NOTHING. It was complete and utter hell!," she exclaimed.  
  
"I'm going back to my dorm," she added bitterly, grabbing Alex and Jenny's hands and dragging them up the stairs.  
  
Sirius groaned. "I'm going to the dorm as well," he said tragically, starting up the stairs.   
  
Remus nodded at Lily and James and followed Sirius, taking the stairs two steps at a time.  
  
James looked down at Lily as soon as Remus and Sirius were out of sight.  
  
"Well that was certainly an experience," he said softly with a laugh.  
  
She nodded. "More so than Sardines."  
  
After a moment of awkward silence, James cleared his throat.  
  
"Remember earlier when you said you didn't actually reject me?," he asked Lily.  
  
She looked at him skeptically as she started to walk up the stairs with James at her side.  
  
"I suppose," she answered.   
  
James stopped midway on the stairs.  
  
"Well's it true? That you haven't actually rejected me?"  
  
Lily thought a moment and smiled.  
  
Standing on her tip toes, she softly kissed James on the side of the mouth.  
  
"How's that for an answer?," she asked after a moment.  
  
Before James could reply, she was up the stairs and out of sight.  
  
He smiled to himself as he slowly followed her footsteps.  
  
'So this is it,' he thought to himself, stopping at the Fat Lady and muttering the password. 'The end of an era.'  
  
---------------------------------  
  
A/N: And it TRULY is the end of an era.  
  
Take that as you will.  
  
Love, Mrs. Prongs and Mrs. Padfoot.  
  
P.S.  
  
Mrs. Padfoot brought to my attention that we had to ask our traditional end-of-story questions.  
  
What was your favorite chapter? Favorite line? Review and tell us. 


End file.
